As A Courtesy, Mind Your Own Business

My husband drives a lovely orange car, and I work in a soul-sucking retail job. One day, while I am at work, I see him finding a parking spot midway through my shift. About five minutes later, a customer grabs me and attempts to twirl me around to face her.

Customer: “EXCUSE ME!”

I icily turn to look at her.

Me: “What.”

Customer: “What? What do you mean, ‘What’?! That’s the b****iest greeting I’ve ever gotten from you, [My Name]! I’d think that of all people—” *gestures at my massive belly* “—YOU would be concerned about this problem!”

Me: “What is going on, ma’am? What problem?”

Customer: “If you were to park and have no parking spot, you’d definitely have a problem! A man just parked there, and you better believe I addressed that. But! He kept on saying, ‘I have every right to be here,’ but no. He’s. A. Man. Not pregnant! Can’t be! I don’t care what he has to say!”

Me: “Quick question, ma’am. Was he driving an orange [Make] [Model] car?”

Customer: “Yeah? So?”

Me: “Well, remind me to thank my husband for parking so close! And he is right: expectant moms’ spaces, unlike our store’s handicapped spaces, aren’t legally required!”

Customer: “What?!“

Me: “They’re just a courtesy! If I were driving, I’d prefer to park in the furthest spot possible, because at that time, I have the energy to walk! But when my husband picks me up from work, he’ll park in the expectant moms’ spot because I’ve had a long day and a short walk is appreciated.”

Customer: “But it… he’s not pregnant!”

My husband and daughter walk into the store. I wave at them, and they wave back but hang out by the bakery display at the front of the store, probably because they recognize the customer.

Me: “Again, the expectant mothers’ spot is not legally required and is a convenience for our expecting customers. As for associates and their family using the spot for a pregnant associate, as long as we don’t—”

Customer: “MEN SHOULD NOT! Be allowed to park in that spot! It’s unjust! Unfair!”

Husband: “As my wife and I explained to you several times, it is perfectly legal to take advantage of the store’s courtesy and park in that spot when it is reasonable.”

He puts his hand on my belly.

Husband: “And I’m sure that our son will have the same consideration for his wife one day.” *To me* “So, I’m gonna go do my shopping and hopefully, you’ll be done with work by then.”

Me: “Thanks, honey.”

The customer made an “Aaagh!” sound as she threw her hands up and walked away. I gave my husband and daughter a brief hug and sent them off to shop with a kid-size grocery cart.