Arm’s Length From The Truth

| Working | May 1, 2014

(I work at a popular children’s restaurant, and we employ some interesting characters. One of our best employees is missing half of his right arm due to a car accident, along with half of the sleeve of ocean-themed tattoos he had. His left arm is still fine and covered in more oceanic tattoos. He has a rather fantastic sense of humor. A kid about eight years old comes up to him while he’s wiping down tables.)

Kid: “What happened to your arm?”

Coworker: “It got cut off.”

Kid: “How?”

Coworker: “I got in a fight with the kraken himself. Almost won, too.”

Kid: “No way. You’re lying.”

Coworker: “Am not. He got mad because he didn’t like the way the artist tattooed him on me, so he chomped my forearm right off. He apologized, but I still unfriended him on Facebook.”

(He says this all with complete sincerity, and the kid now looks awestruck. He continues to stare at my coworker even as his mother leads him away.)

Me: “Do you tell that story to all the kids?”

Coworker: “No. I tell that story to everyone, whatever their age. You’d be surprised at how many of them believe me.”

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