Aren’t You Glad She Can’t Come To Your Desk To Bug You?

As a result of the global health crisis, we start working from home most of the time. My duties can be compared to those of a call center, so I have a headset, which I wear for most of my call shift. I also have an email shift, and I don’t wear my headset then.

I’ve been talking to my manager about how stress-inducing it is for me if people call me unannounced during my email shift. I understand it if I have a call shift, but with email, I am focused on answering emails.

Manager: “But who calls you, and why?”

Me: “It’s coworkers who call me, usually with questions — except for [Coworker]. Whenever she calls me, it’s usually for a mundane question about a procedure she herself made.”

Manager: “Well, how about you ask coworkers to first send you a message through chat? Would that help? I mean, it’s not your job to answer questions, and their urgency is not your urgency. If they have questions, they can bring them to me; I’m paid for it!”

We try my manager’s suggestion. I send an email to everyone and put it on our internal site. Many coworkers like the idea of “message first” and it’s widely adopted. Sure, new coworkers sometimes miss the memo, and we remind each other once in while of this new etiquette.

Except for [Coworker]. She keeps on calling me because “This is easier/faster. Anyway…” and, “Oh, sorry, I forgot. Anyway…” By now, I’ve told her several ways: public announcement of our internal page that many people prefer “message first,” sending an email with the reminder, mailing her directly, messaging her directly, sugar-coated statements like, “Yes, I messaged you first because I didn’t know if you were busy,” and more blunt statements like, “Please, message me before calling.” She just doesn’t change.

So, I go to my manager again.

Manager: “Well, you don’t have to answer your phone while on an email shift.”

Me: “So… I can just ignore her when she calls?”

Manager: “I am not allowed to say that you may ignore your coworkers if they need help. But I can’t force you to keep up your headset and accept calls when you have an email shift. I’m sure you can make the right assessment of what is more urgent at that moment.”

He smiles and I get the hint. A few weeks (and “missed calls” from [Coworker]) later:

Manager: “I received a complaint about you from [Coworker]. You never seem to answer your phone while you have the email shift.”

I’m worried that I’m in trouble.

Me: “Well, yes, but—”

Manager: “So I asked her if you also don’t reply to her chat messages. She didn’t answer me. Did she ever contact you through chat?”

Me: “No.”

Manager: “Already figured. I told her that people with email shifts don’t always have their headsets on, so if she wants to be sure she can reach you, she should send you a chat message first.”

I am glad my manager has my back. The next day, I get a pop-up for a chat message from [Coworker].

Coworker: “I’m calling you right now.”

I see my phone ringing (it has lights), but I am in the middle of an email, so I respond via chat.

Me: “Can’t answer right now; I’m in the middle of a difficult case. I’ll call you when I’m done.” 

There was no response, so I figured it wasn’t that urgent. I left her hanging for about five minutes. I sweetly told her how difficult my case was and how pleased I was she send a message first. (And the question was not urgent, nor was it in my field of expertise. It was her field of expertise.)

But two hours later, she “cold-called” me again. No message. Well, no message, then no picking up.

It feels like I’m dealing with an impatient toddler.