Giving Birth To Reason

(My husband and I are at a restaurant, sharing with family members the news that we’re expecting our first child.)

Male Relative #1: “Oh, so do you know what hospital you’re going to deliver at?”

Me: “No, not a hospital. We’re doing a home water birth. Much lower key and all of that.”

Male Relative #1: *perplexed* “[Husband], are you ok with this?”

Husband: “Sure, I’m fine with it. It means I get to sit on my own couch and [My Name] will be more comfortable.”

Male Relative #1: “Oh, yeah! Nice!”

Male Relative #2: “Really? I think I would have a problem if my wife wanted to do that.”

Husband: “I learned years ago that you don’t tell a grown woman what to do with her body.”

(Most of his family laughs, and his female relatives give him approving looks and thumbs-ups.)

Male Relative #2: *shrugs* “Okay, whatever. I’m just saying that if it were me, I think I would have a problem with it.”

Husband: “And that’s why you’re single.”

(And that’s why I married him!)