Are Jew Crazy?!

, , , , | Right | September 3, 2017

(A waiter has called me out, as there is a couple refusing to pay.)

Me: “What appears to be the problem?”

Customer: “Our waiter isn’t Jewish, and I have it on good authority that I am not permitted to accept service from non-Jewish persons.”

Me: “Did you ask if she was Jewish?”

Customer: “I did.”

(I look at the waiter and she taps her watch.)

Me: “When?”

Customer: “Does it matter?”

Me: “It doesn’t, but I’m trying to decide whether you willfully ordered knowing my waiter wasn’t Jewish, or it was an afterthought, in which case you should have noted with us that you preferred a Jewish waiter. Either way, you’re paying, or I will be getting the police involved.”

(She opens her mouth, but her husband interrupts and offers to pay with his card. I take him over to our card reader.)

Customer’s Husband: “Sorry about that. She’s full of herself.”

Me: “That’s quite all right. I didn’t even know that was a Jewish custom.”

Husband: “She doesn’t either.”

Me: “She doesn’t?”

Husband: “Like I said, she’s full of herself. She isn’t Jewish and hasn’t claimed to be before today…”

Me: *speechless*

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