Arachnophasmophobia

| Learning | February 10, 2015

(I go to a Catholic school. One day, my religion class is going on as normal when we suddenly hear a loud smacking sound. We all turn to see where it came from. Student #1 is lifting up a binder he’s thrown on the floor next to him. He stares at a barely-moving spider on it, looks grossed-out and slightly guilty, and drops the binder spider-up.)

Teacher: “Here, come get something to clean that up.”

(Student #1 goes up to her desk and gets wipes, tissues and hand sanitizer. He dramatically stalks down the aisle to the binder with his hand on the top of the hand sanitizer …then looks guilty again and turns away.)

Student #1: “I, uh, think I’ll just let it finish dying…”

Teacher: “Help it along. Put it out of its misery.”

Student #1: “Um…” *he pulls out a wipe and drops it over the spider* “Out of respect…”

Student #2: “Eternal rest grant unto it, O Lord…”

Student #3: *to spider* “I’ll pray for you and your family.”

Student #1: *holding up his hands* “A moment of silence. A moment of silence.”

Student #2: “It’s a little angel in spider heaven now.”

Teacher: “You do know that bugs don’t have souls, right?”

Student #1: *starting to clean up* “So, if it doesn’t have a soul, that means it can’t come back and haunt me, right?”

Teacher: “No.”

Student #1: “Good.” *throws the wipe away with a shiver*

1 Thumbs
511