Appreciate The Weight Of The Lesson
(We are doing physics demos in class. Our teacher has urged us to make a short play of our demos. This group is composed of two girls.)
Girl #1: *to Girl #2* “Hey, want to kill someone?”
Girl #2: “What?”
Girl #1: “Well, I made this thing, so we can kill someone if we wanted.”
(She pulls out a nailbed. She sets it on the table and stacks wood planks around it until they are even with the nail points. The nailbed is now bracketed by wood.)
Girl #2: “We’ll need a volunteer?” *points to our teacher*
Teacher: “Oh…”
(Everyone is grinning. He gets up and gets on the table, and lies back on the bed. Supported by the wood, he seems only mildly uncomfortable.)
Girl #2: “See, it doesn’t work. You can’t kill someone with that. The weight of the body is spread out over the nails, so none of the points have enough pressure to pierce the skin.”
Girl #1: “Well, actually you can. I was planning to put cinderblocks on their chest until it crushes them on the nails.”
(She pulls out a board, places it on the teacher’s chest, and places a cinderblock on top of the board. The teacher winces, but isn’t in any real pain.)
Girl #2: “See, it still isn’t enough.”
Girl #1: “I can fix that.”
(She pulls out a SLEDGEHAMMER and gets up on the table. The class is howling by now.)
Classmate: “Don’t miss!”
(She swings the sledgehammer onto the cinderblock, breaking it. The teacher winces again. The class cheers. The cinderblock pieces fall off, and the teacher slowly sits up.)
Classmate: “That was awesome!”
Teacher: “Yeah.” *coughs*
Girl #2: “Okay, so that was an example of—”
Teacher: *coughs again*
Girl #1: “Are you okay?”
Teacher: *keeps coughing*
Girl #1: “Mr. [Teacher]?”
Teacher: *coughs harder*
Girl #2: “Mr.—”
Teacher: *hacks out blood*
Everyone: “MR. [TEACHER]!”
Teacher: *stands straight* “Yeah, I’m fine.” *spits out blood capsule* “Go on explaining, girls.”
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Have you ever served a bad customer who got what they deserved?
