Appreciate The Weight Of The Lesson

(We are doing physics demos in class. Our teacher has urged us to make a short play of our demos. This group is composed of two girls.)

Girl #1: *to Girl #2* “Hey, want to kill someone?”

Girl #2: “What?”

Girl #1: “Well, I made this thing, so we can kill someone if we wanted.”

(She pulls out a nailbed. She sets it on the table and stacks wood planks around it until they are even with the nail points. The nailbed is now bracketed by wood.)

Girl #2: “We’ll need a volunteer?” *points to our teacher*

Teacher: “Oh…”

(Everyone is grinning. He gets up and gets on the table, and lies back on the bed. Supported by the wood, he seems only mildly uncomfortable.)

Girl #2: “See, it doesn’t work. You can’t kill someone with that. The weight of the body is spread out over the nails, so none of the points have enough pressure to pierce the skin.”

Girl #1: “Well, actually you can. I was planning to put cinderblocks on their chest until it crushes them on the nails.”

(She pulls out a board, places it on the teacher’s chest, and places a cinderblock on top of the board. The teacher winces, but isn’t in any real pain.)

Girl #2: “See, it still isn’t enough.”

Girl #1: “I can fix that.”

(She pulls out a SLEDGEHAMMER and gets up on the table. The class is howling by now.)

Classmate: “Don’t miss!”

(She swings the sledgehammer onto the cinderblock, breaking it. The teacher winces again. The class cheers. The cinderblock pieces fall off, and the teacher slowly sits up.)

Classmate: “That was awesome!”

Teacher: “Yeah.” *coughs*

Girl #2: “Okay, so that was an example of—”

Teacher: *coughs again*

Girl #1: “Are you okay?”

Teacher: *keeps coughing*

Girl #1: “Mr. [Teacher]?”

Teacher: *coughs harder*

Girl #2: “Mr.—”

Teacher: *hacks out blood*

Everyone: “MR. [TEACHER]!”

Teacher: *stands straight* “Yeah, I’m fine.” *spits out blood capsule* “Go on explaining, girls.”