Apparently You’re Man Enough For Him

(I am a male. I work at a hotel as a night auditor, which involves watching the front desk and handling any complaints that might arise during the night. Normally the nights are very quiet, however one night a man comes down at around two am:)

Man: *holding out a fluorescent bulb* “Hi, this bulb went out and I was wondering if you could replace it.”

(At this point, I already know something is wrong because those bulbs were put in recently and they last for a very long time.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t have access to the maintenance closet where we keep spare bulbs. I can check in the closet in our office but I think you will have to wait until morning when we can get maintenance to replace these. I’m really sorry about the inconvenience.”

(I go to check the closet and sure enough there’s no bulbs, so I return and apologize to the customer. He seems appreciative and strikes up a conversation, which is fine because it can get lonely during the nights, but then he asks me this question out of nowhere:)

Man: “So, have you ever had sex with another man before?”

(I should mention I’m not gay.)

Me: “…No, I have not.”

Man: “Are you sure? You’ve been flirting with me this whole conversation. I bet you know [Someone from high school]? He just spent a few hours with me in my room.”

Me: “Uh, that’s nice, but I’m working and I need to get back to my paperwork.”

Man: “Well, if you change your mind, my room number is [number]. Just knock on the door…”