Any Emulsion By Any Other Name

(My mum decides we need to try a new hipster food place because the guy who owns it is a famous chef and is often on the radio channel she listens to. We are there for lunch and they don’t really have anything that I would like to eat, mainly because of the ingredients; there’s mayo on almost everything. I don’t know if I would consider it a food allergy, but mayo makes me throw up, and vinegar gives me heartburn. So, I decide on the lunch special but tell them I don’t want mayo on the burger, and I request no dressing on the salad. After I order, the chef comes and talks to me.)

Chef: “Are you the one who wanted the burger with no mayo and the salad with no dressing?”

Me: “Yes, please.” *explains my problems with mayo and vinegar*

Chef: “No problem. Would you like some tomato salsa on your burger, instead?”

Me: “Yes, that would be great. Thank you.”

Chef: “Also, the salad dressing only has a little bit of vinegar; you won’t be able to taste it. Mainly it is an emulsion of egg and oil. Just try it; I am sure you’ll like it.”

Me: “No, please don’t put that on my salad.”

(I thought to myself, “You just gave me the definition of mayo, and basically told me the dressing consists of the two things I told you I cannot eat.” They put it on, anyway.)