Another Way They Make You Cry

(I am extremely allergic to onions, and, since it is such an unusual allergy, I tend to have problems when I eat out. When ordering takeaways online, in addition to leaving several notes, I always call the restaurant because otherwise there’ll be some type of onion in my meal, and when I complain they’ll sound all confused and say ‘Wait, you meant that type of onion?’ There is only one restaurant that has been so good about it that I’ve stopped calling to double-check, but when I get my order one day I notice that it had green onions throughout.)

Me: “Hi. I’m the girl who just ordered online, with the onion allergy?”

Hostess: “Yes, I took your order back to the kitchen personally and made sure they knew about the allergy.”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but there are green onions in my food.”

Hostess: “Could you hold for one moment?”

(She sets the phone down, but doesn’t mute it. A minute later I hear her explode.)

Hostess: “Of course it counts! It has the word ONION in it!”

(That moment was a vindication of everything I’ve been saying my whole life.)

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