Another Bloody Cheater

| Learning | August 23, 2016

(It’s GCSE mock week at my school. I’m awful at science but have a great rapport with the teacher, as we share the same dry sense of humour. I’ve also been dealing with random heavy nosebleeds for a while — these suck because I usually faint looking at blood. It’s the day of the chemistry mock.)

Science Teacher: “—and I don’t want to see any finished papers within the first half hour. Use your time wisely. No distractions, no daydreaming, no feigning illness. Unless you’re dying, I don’t wanna hear about it. Ready? Begin.”

(I’m 45 minutes into the test and just about to finish when I feel the same familiar prickly feeling in my nose. I panic about being taken out the exam so instead of calling over a supervisor, I decide to let my nose bleed out into a spare tissue and finish the exam. However, to no-one’s surprise, I end up passing out. The rest of this is recounted to me by several friends after I’m taken to the medical room.)

Science Teacher: “Right, everyone back to the hall and grab your bags. We’ll rearrange the exam for next week.”

Class Clown: “Yeah, right, Miss. Everyone knows if someone dies in an exam you get full marks.”

Science Teacher: “That might work if anyone had actually died, [Class Clown], but for now you can stop being so melodramatic.”

Class Clown: *suddenly angry* “No f***ing way. I’m not doing this again! That’s not f**ing fair!”

(He started having a meltdown, throwing plastic chairs and punching walls, until he was restrained by the PE teacher. He never normally cared about tests, so this confused us all — until his friend let [Science Teacher] know why.  He’d already seen the test paper we were given; they’d been left on a desk unattended that morning, meaning he could prepare in advance, not that it would’ve made much difference. He was suspended, and we all retook the test the next week. I got an A. Nosebleeds suck but at least this time they helped catch out a cheater!)

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