Annoying From The Opening Night

(Our theater sends out letters reminding our members to book the remainder of their season tickets, a quarter of the way through the season. We often get calls from people who think we’ve deactivated or lost their membership because they booked the first three shows but received a you-haven’t-booked letter.)

Caller: “Hello, I got a you-haven’t-booked letter, but I saw Pete the Cat!” *first show of our season* “So I have booked, and you guys lied! I SAW PETE THE CAT!“

Me: “Yes, ma’am, you did see Pete The Cat; that letter just means that you haven’t booked the remainder of your season tickets. I’d be happy to help you with that now, if you’re ready.”

Caller: “I saw Pete The Cat, though! I’ve booked, and you guys lied!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. You did book tickets for Pete The Cat. Would you like to see Sherlock Holmes?”

Caller: “Yes. But I wanted to come see it on opening night, and you guys never called me to let me reserve!”

(I explain that we don’t call every member when they don’t book a show. She doesn’t understand that, and wants us to call her before every show to see if she’s ready to book.)

Me: “So, would you like to see Sherlock Holmes? This is the last weekend, and I have plenty of space to get you in this Friday at seven.”

Caller: “Yes. Although, I still think you guys should have called me on opening night to see if I wanted to come.”

Me: “Sorry about that, ma’am. While I have you on the phone, would you like to book the rest of your season? I’d be happy to help you with that.”

Caller: “Yes. I want to come on all the opening nights!”

Me: “Perfect. I’ll book those for you and send you a confirmation email so you have something for your records.”

Caller: “Will you guys call to remind me? I don’t want to waste space in my calendar by writing these down.”

(I am now pulling my hair out.)

Me: “No, ma’am; that’s why I’m sending you the email with the dates and times you’ve booked for.”

Caller: “Well, I guess I’ll write them down. You guys should have a better notification system, though! I can’t be expected to remember the dates I booked!”

Me: “Sorry about that, ma’am. Have a great day.”