Your Annoyance Level Is Up To The High Teens

, , , , , , , | Right | September 10, 2017

(I work the overnight shift alone from 10 pm to 6 am. I usually get the local cops in at the beginning of my shift, since they are starting their shift as well, and they also come by a few times a night, just to check in and say hi. Around 3 am one Sunday morning, another regular, who is shy and has a social disability, comes in to get his coffee and wait for his ride. As I’m finishing with him. two teenage boys come in.)

Me: *to regular* “Thanks for shopping at [Gas Station] and I’ll see you tomorrow.” *to teenagers* “Can I help you two with anything?”

Teenager #1: “Yeah, I’d like some cigarettes. [Brand].”

Me: “Certainly. I’ll just need to see some ID.”

Teenager #1: “I left it at the house. Can you let it slide this once? Besides, I only live right down the street.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell to anyone that looks under 30 without an ID. Besides, if you live right down the street, then it should be no problem to get your ID.”

Teenager #1: “C’mon, man, just let it slide this once. I can tell you my birthday. It’s [date].”

Me: “Well, sir, if that is your birthday, then you are only 16. I can’t sell the cigarettes to you, but feel free to get anything else.”

Teenager #2: “Here, I’ll get them then. I just turned 18 and I have my ID.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but I can’t sell them to you, since I know you are buying them for your friend, who I know is underage.”

Teenager #2: “But I’m 18!”

Teenager #1: “Don’t be a d***. Nobody will notice at this time of night.”

Me: “Sorry, but it’s not worth my job.”

(The two teenagers leave, and I see them go up to my regular, who is still waiting in the parking lot, and talk to him for a minute. My regular walks back in.)

Regular: “Can I get a pack of [Cigarette Brand Teenager Asked For]?”

Me: “I actually can’t. I know you don’t smoke, and I know those boys just asked you to get them cigarettes. Tell them I’m not selling them cigarettes, and they can’t get anyone else to buy them for them.”

(My regular leaves and talks to the teens. He gets picked up around five minutes later, but the teens are still loitering. I ignore them, as there isn’t anyone else in the store or parking lot, and start to mop while the store is slow. About 20 minutes later, the teens come in and get some nachos, making a mess in the process. As they come to check out, I notice the reek of alcohol.)

Teenager #2: “I’d like these nachos.”

Me: “Certainly, sir. Can I get you anything else?”

Teenager #2: “Yeah, I’d like a pack of [Same Cigarette Brand].”

Me: “I told you 20 minutes ago that I wouldn’t sell you cigarettes. Now, you need to pay for the nachos and leave.”

(They end up grumbling, but pay for their food and leave. However, they don’t leave the parking lot, and instead hang around eating their food. I ignore them again and start making coffee. About ten minutes later, one of my older regulars shows up. He stops to talk to the boys on the way in, and then comes into the store.)

Me: “Hey, [Older Regular].”

(All the coffee is fresh, and once I finish with the trash, I can take a break and come outside and chat.)

Older Regular: “You know those boys are asking for people to buy them cigarettes, don’t you? I told them I wouldn’t, and that you knew I didn’t smoke anyway.”

Me: “Okay, well, I’ve had about enough of this.” *I go outside and talk to the teenagers.* “You guys need to leave now. You can’t loiter here, and you can’t keep harassing my customers to illegally buy you tobacco.”

Teenager #1: “Well, why don’t you make us? We ain’t doing nothing!”

Teenager #2: “Yeah, and this wouldn’t have happened if you’d been f***ing cool about it.”

(Fed up with this, I call dispatch, and explain to them about the two drunk teens. Two minutes later, I have three cop cars pull in and corner these two kids. One tries to run and is caught almost instantly. My regular and I go outside to watch.)

Cop: *also a regular* “Hey, [My Name]. These two the only ones who were bothering you?”

Me: “Yeah. So, what are you going to do to them?”

Cop: “We’ll take them down to the station and throw them in the drunk tank. We’ll call their parents once they sober up. Usually putting the fear of God in them is enough. Call us if they ever show up on your shift again!”

(My regular and I walked away laughing. It certainly made the rest of my shift more enjoyable, and the teens had a great story to tell at school Monday!)

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  • Aro

    I’m pretty sure those teens will not consider this a great story on Monday. Maybe in five or ten years, when/if they’ve matured enough to see how stupid they were.

    • Jackie Fauxe

      I agree that they won’t see it as a “great” story any time soon, but I bet in the story they tell on Monday the OP will feature as the villain.

      • Kadrina Winters

        I was thinking the same. There is nothing great or exciting about this for them. Just an uptight jerk who wouldn’t sell them cigarettes and then called the cops on them for “no reason”. (In their minds.)

    • Holly

      Teens out at 3 a.m. trying to buy cigarettes at a gas station…I am guessing there is some parental failure somewhere, and in 5 or 10 years, these two teens may be as dumb and aggressive as they are today, only physically bigger.

      • godzillahomer

        and maybe mentally dumber

      • Leiko Burningbear

        Could be their parent(s) work nights, thus aren’t home to realize the kids aren’t in bed. At 16 and 18 they’re old enough to leave home alone. But obviously this pair aren’t responsible enough to behave properly.

        I agree parental failure likely plays a big role in this story. But at the same time, I have known of parents (usually single) who work hard to support the family and aren’t home much. Double-edged sword, that. Work less, can’t afford bills, but can spend time with kids making sure they have an actual adult in their lives. Work a lot, make money to survive, but never home to make sure kids are doing as they should.

        Dad encountered folks who lacked strong parental figures (especially fathers) when he worked as a Corrections Officer. It was sad, really. A lot of ’em were decent guys; just did stupid things and didn’t learn ’til too late that they’d messed up big time.

        • 4302

          I don’t know about other parents but my parents tend to be asleep at 3 AM.
          When was 11-14 I used to take late night walks when I couldn’t sleep and my parents never knew because they were fast asleep. If I had been gone until after they had woken up they would’ve noticed but I would always get back into bed before that.
          I could have gone out to buy cigarettes if I had wanted to. At 14 I did have friends who smoked, not due to their parents failing to parent but because they had a reason to smoke (it was cool, it helped them deal with loss and anxiety, their friends smoked, whatever) and they were able to hide it from their parents.
          I have also seen some absolutely horrible kids with absolutely amazing parents and vice versa.

          I’m not saying it definitely isn’t due to bad parenting but I’m just saying it doesn’t have to be.

          • divgradcurl

            Agreed. Do “good” parents put ankle monitors on their kids? Sometimes the kids might just act like a$$holes, and it’s no one’s fault but their own.

          • Chessolin Cat’lady

            I never snuck out at night as a teenager!

            I lived on a farm in the country. What was I going to do? Loiter in the barn with the raccoons?

          • Novelista

            Even if I hadn’t been a goody two-shoes, I couldn’t even sneak down to the corner gas station for soda/candy because my allowance was “banked”, so I had no liquid assets (pardon the pun!)

            Of course, if I’m naughty enough to sneak out, what’s stopping me from stealing soda money from my mom’s wallet?

          • Bonnie L

            I had the same problem! So did my kids. Rural life is hades, isn’t it. 😉

      • Matilda

        Oh come on. They are 16 and 18 and it’s the weekend. Yes these particular teenagers where immature little brats, but it’s not like they need a babysitter at that age.

        • The Vicar

          I’d argue that their behavior suggests that they need a babysitter at that age, but simply don’t have one. Or are you suggesting that getting drunk and hanging around a gas station parking lot trying to get people to buy you cigarettes is something kids (and yes, teenagers are still kids) should be permitted to do?

          • Matilda

            No I specifically said that these teenagers were acting like immature brats, so unless you’re claiming all 16 and 18 year olds act like this, I fail to see our point.

  • Mushroom

    Prepare to be harassed for following the law.

    Sounds like they should have got their smokes from whomever they got their drinks from.

    • I was working the cigarette lane one night, and was told by an ex classmate (we were both old enough) that I was allowed to sell him his beer because his underage girlfriend, who was standing next to him, wouldn’t be drinking it. Suuuuuuure, buddy. I TOTALLY believe you and will risk my job for you!

      • Phil Adler

        How do the cops find that you sold beer to someone of legal age , who then gave it to someone not of legal age, and that you knew about it?

        Your ex classmate could have just bought the beer and said nothing, and it wouldn’t have made a difference.

        • godzillahomer

          you never know, people talk, cops shop (and if they suspect a store is selling to minors directly/indirectly, they might do a stake out)

          bad luck can be a horrible thing, best to be safe than sorry

          • Phil Adler

            They should be arresting the BUYER, not the seller. The buyer of legal age should not be giving his beer to someone underage.

          • godzillahomer

            yes, I also don’t know how the law works, they might not arrest the seller, they might just fine the store; I’m no legal expert

          • Phil Adler

            Neither am I, just staying how it should work if the law made more sense.

          • EricKei

            Well, yeah — They DO arrest the buyer, if they can find and catch them. They go after the seller (and the store), as well, in order to *drastically reduce the number of buyers they’ll have to pursue in the first place* — which makes a twisted sort of sense, honestly. Last I checked, penalties (which vary by state) for even one underage sale ranged from $2500~10,000 — for both the cashier and for the store, job loss for the cashier is basically a given, possibly loss of the store’s alcohol sales license, and, in a small number of states, possible misdemeanor criminal charges. Extreme? Yeah, probably. Effective? Most certainly 😉

          • Phil Adler

            If the seller sells to someone of legal age, then it wasn’t an underage sale.

          • EricKei

            True — but the point is to try and *trick* them into doing so. They also send in actual underage buyers.

          • Laren Dowling

            If they know (or even suspect) that the buyer is getting cigs or booze for someone underage, then yes, it qualifies.

          • Phil Adler

            But if they don’t know and it still goes to someone underage…

          • Jeff

            If the retailer sells to someone of legal age for the purpose of supplying an underaged persons, then they are part of the third party sale and guilty of the crime.

            That would of course require them to prove the retailer made the sale with the intention of being part of said third party sale, which is impossible.

            Which is why the laws are written such that making the sale is considered prima facie evidence of intent to be part of the third party sale, and the only way to prove they did NOT intend to do so are specifically written into the statutes, which is usually about checking IDs.

            This is also how shoplifting laws work in almost all jurisdictions, where it is either explicitly written or established via case law that concealment is prima facie evidence of intent. (People telling you that the property must leave the premise are confusing corporate policy with criminal law.)

          • K’Zad Bhat

            Don’t forget the police also set up stings like this from time to time. Not so much with tobacco, though occasionally that too. No way to know for sure these were civilian kids, even after the arrest. After all, the alcohol smell could just be some beer splashed on them.

            Not likely in this scenario, but getting in the habit of not selling to parties with minors means you never have to worry.

        • steeledminer616

          I think it goes simply as follows:

          You need to ID all parties involved (So if 2 customers come up to the counter and one needs to be ID’d, you need to ID them BOTH… though I’ve heard this may change from region to region).

          If the seller has reason to suspect the person in question will be distributing it to underage (ex. Saying they are), they are not allowed to sell the tobacco.

          In summary if the party selling is aware or has reason to suspect that the customer will distribute the product to minors, they have to refuse the sale or they are at fault. If there was no basis for assumption (Say, a guy comes in, 2 days later they give it to a random minor), the redistributor is at fault.

          • Rob Tonka

            “You need to ID all parties involved (So if 2 customers come up to the counter and one needs to be ID’d, you need to ID them BOTH”

            Then you get the overzealous clerks who will refuse to sell to a parent shopping with their kid.

          • steeledminer616

            Depending on circumstance, yes. That very well could happen. I personally have been to a few places that are not allowed to.

          • EricKei

            Disallowing parents with a kid is, admittedly, being overzealous.

            Outside of that, a cashier is allowed and/or required to refuse a sale if there’s even the tiniest suspicion in the back of their mind that an underage person might get the drink somehow.

            Heck, the government sends in underage (or 21’s who look 17) mystery shoppers *constantly* in order to make sure that the law is enforced.

          • Kat Kirkpatrick

            I can vouch for that. My niece had a summer job every year working for the local police starting when she was 16 and lasting up until she was 21. First being sent in to convenience stores to try to buy cigarettes without ID, then after she was 18 but not yet 21, sent in to liquor stores to try to buy cheap beer without ID (or with a fake that the police made up for her).

            Those sting operations aren’t as random as you might think. They would only go to places where there had been reports of trouble, reports of underage teens hanging around outside (with no other businesses around that would appeal to teens) or there had been a recent drunk driving incident or accident and they found a receipt with the name of the liquor store in the car.

          • That was a story on here already.

        • divgradcurl

          In some places, the law is that you can’t sell an age-restricted product unless the buyer and everyone with them can prove they’re old enough to buy it.

          So in those jurisdictions, yes, the clerk or the store would get in trouble for selling to someone whose underage friend is standing next to them. (And the local cops might run stings testing exactly that scenario.)

          Granted, these laws can lead to absurdity if the clerk mistakenly assumes two total strangers are shopping together, and either the clerk or one of the customers decides to escalate the situation…

          • Phil Adler

            That can lead to a problem which I disagree with. For example, buying wine for yourself/you and your spouse in a grocery store, with your children tagging along.

          • cursormortis

            In Wisconsin at least, that’s not a problem. Perfectly legal for a minor to drink (even in public) so long as their parent/legal guardian gives it to them.

          • divgradcurl

            Like I said, it can lead to absurdity. (Though each place writes its own laws, and they might try to sort out cases like you mentioned.)

            Point is, the clerk is not on some personal power trip when they card everyone in a party. They’re doing exactly what their job requires, and the store could lose its liquor license if they don’t.

            I don’t think these laws — even the badly-thought-out ones — rise to the level of injustice where a gas station clerk would be conscience-bound to defy the law as an act of civil disobedience…

          • Rob Tonka

            Example of that.

            remove the spaces

            youtube dot com / watch?v=LtUdS49KfFA

          • Leiko Burningbear

            Usually cashiers in a grocery store will make exceptions for an adult with kids. Grocery stores are a bit different from booze stores in that you get a lot of families doing the noms shopping, so often a parent will get a bottle of wine or some beer for themselves along with all the other groceries.

            Booze-only stores tend to be a lot stricter than grocery stores. Less likely that underage person is just a tag-along who’s not gonna drink. More likely the alcohol is for the underage peep.

          • Kryss LaBryn

            In Canada, in both BC and Nova Scotia, you cannot buy booze in grocery stores, only in beer & wine stores or government-run liquor stores. People take their kids in all the time and it’s not an issue. But no one’s cracking one open in the store.

            In Ontario, though, they have all the booze behind counters, and you can’t just grab whatever off the shelf and head for the tills, the way you can elsewhere; and you aren’t allowed to bring in even very young kids, which is a giant pain in the arse as a parent.

            The person actually buying the booze needs to be legal; but (in BC and NS at least), so long as no one is giving any indication that they’re partaking of the alcohol and not just along for the ride, I don’t think they really care about the ages of the people with the purchaser.

        • Marisa

          While I’m not sure about the letter of the law, my experience as newly 21, and living in a college town goes as follows. If two obviously under 30 people are together, both tend to be ID’ed, and if one is under age the alcohol isn’t sold. I’d assume the same for tobacco, but I don’t smoke. If I am with my parent, no one cards me, since they assume a parent would not distribute alcohol to minors. There is greater suspect for two similarly aged people. However, if I am buying alcohol with my boyfriend, they do not card him, am he is only a week older than I am. I believe he just looks older and no one assumes he’s underage.

    • Kitty

      “But, man, that guy charges so much for it! And we already owe him for the pot!”

  • The fear of God? Please. I’m more the “had the fear of my half Prussian mom” type.

    • divgradcurl

      It was a typo. The cops put the fear of Dog in them. I don’t mess with K9 units either.

      • Michael Hughes

        or big bounty hunters in Hawaii

    • Seeoahtlahmakaskay

      At that age, they’re one and the same.

  • CyNical CyNthia

    “Fear of god”? Sounds like an abusive relationship. What a fμçked-up religion.

    • Patrick Mccurry

      Aren’t they all?

      • CyNical CyNthia

        Yeah, though the 3 piles of dung with different wrapping paper are the worst.

        • Mechwarrior

          Nope, all the rest are just as bad. Look up the atrocities Buddhists are committing in Myanmar.

    • Wow, doesn’t take much to set off you bigots, does it?

      • CyNical CyNthia

        lol.

        I’m not a bigot, especially not for speaking the truth.

        Look up “murder in the bible” or just look at the “evilbible” website… facts speak louder than anything.

        • Joy Rose

          Just look at the atheismstupid website and you’ll clearly see that being religious is the only possible sane way to act.

          Or stop getting your information off of old Angelfire-style pages.

          • Phil Adler

            You’re full of schitt, Joy. Why do you think some people have a problem with religion? It’s because of people like you giving it a bad name.

          • Joy Rose

            Hey, if you want to get your information about the Bible on a website called “evilbible”, and your information on Islam on a website called “Islamisevil”, and your information on science on a website called “biologyisascam”, and your information on weather on a website called “hurricanesdontexist”, that’s on you!

          • Phil Adler

            I don’t plan on it, that doesn’t make anything that Cynthia said any less true.

          • K’Zad Bhat

            I don’t know about the rest, but I got my information on the Bible from actually reading the Bible, and seeing as God order multiple genocides to be committed, I have trouble telling the difference between the Judeo-Christian-Islamic “God” and Hitler.

            And as far as being religious being the only way to act, I think of Penn Jillette’s answer to that, when he’s told that without God we’d all go out committing rape and murder, because there’s nothing to stop us. His answer: I rape all I want. All I want to rape is zero. I murder all I want. All I want to murder is zero. How does that make religious people sound when they believe God is all that stops them from doing that?

          • Joy Rose

            This is fascinating, really. So many people are so very anti-religion that they can’t actually converse with people about it. They just keep repeating someone else’s talking points over and over again, accusing random strangers of things that the random strangers haven’t even brought up.

            It’s like they (you and others) have just shut themselves off and closed themselves down from the option which I’ve found is usually the best thing to do when you hate and/or fear a group – actually meet and talk to some members from it and find out whether the majority really represents their prejudgment.

            I wonder if you are too afraid to talk to religious folk, too hate-filled to see them as people with whom you can converse, or simply unwilling to risk a crack in the “All religious folk are totally hateful” mentality needed for some other purpose. Coming up as it is under the shadow of Democrat congressmen trying to impose a religious test on government officials, I wonder if there is a connection.

          • K’Zad Bhat

            Um, do you mean the ones who think Armageddon is near because some earthquakes just happened, or now a massive hurricane? Wars in place where there’s always been wars? Kids starving? And if you mention that all of this has been happening since before the Bible was written say “oh no, it’s so much worse now, just look at the news on TV!” Yes, exactly, on TV, with satellite communications and the internet you get it almost instantly, on several channels, so you hear about it faster, and a lot more than ever before! It’s not happening more, you’re hearing it more! This from plenty of church groups, and their pastors that I have attended.

            My favorite was a psychopath carjacker who talked so much about his Christian faith and how God approves of him committing violent crimes, but non-Christians are all worthless! And other Christians talking to him very seriously, rather than telling him he’s the arsehole that he is.

            And don’t get me wrong, it’s not all Christians, it’s just that deep believers of any religion I’ve ever known check their logic at the church, where it seems to get ground up into a pasty splash of ignorance and failure to think of anything the preacher doesn’t spoon feed them. And if I have any real questions about the Bible, the answer is that the answer is in the Bible, and just have faith . . . faith that the one I asked is right.

          • Joy Rose

            I don’t think you really want me to respond in kind, bringing up examples of atheists instead of religious folk, mirroring all your points here subject by subject, starting with the earthquakes/hurricanes/wars.

            Needless to say it’s a human thing and not a religious thing… unless you make the argument that atheism/agnosticism (humanism, mostly) is itself another religion, in which case perhaps you could argue that it is a religious thing.

          • MadHighlander

            No, by all means, mirror their points, show us the atheist that’s claiming armageddon is on its way in on the basis of a two-millennia-old fantasy novel.

          • Joy Rose

            Show us the Christian who’s claiming armageddon on the basis of a two-millennia-old fantasy novel.

            Start by proving that the Bible is 1. fantasy, 2. a novel (not all fiction is written in the novel length/format!), and 3. two millennia old.

            Or I could show you the atheist who is claiming Armageddon based on a few decades of demonstrably faulty data because of natural disasters which are actually the opposite of the natural disasters predicted by the model based on that data.

            Or you could accept the possibility that extremism is not specifically a religious trait.

            Let’s see what you pick…

          • Will Flynn

            What a total load of garbage. “Being religious is the only sane way to act”? Seriously? Okay, let’s go with that. Running scared your whole life because, ya know, he!!. Absolutely the best way to live. Having to have morals because, ya know, he!!. Oh, great. Without the threat you’d be, what, robbing everyone? Sleeping with dead goats?

            No, the fact that I’m good, that I don’t do any of those things because I know what is right and wrong, that I don’t need a threat hanging over my head is far better and more sane than anything you can attempt to justify using religion

          • Joy Rose

            You seem to have missed my point completely.

            You’re not going to learn anything true about Christians from a website called “evilbible” any more than you’re going to learn anything true about atheists from a website called “atheismstupid”.

            Both sites are only going to say that the way they favor is the only sane way to act. And both sites are going to say that no sane person can possibly believe the stuff they hate.

            When I said, “Being religious is the only sane way to act”, I was taking what they were throwing at religion and turning it right back. Sometimes people hate so much that they can’t even tell that they are being hateful until they hear the same sentiment mirrored, not for the sake of hating them as they hate me, but for the sake of showing them how they are treating me.

        • You weren’t speaking the truth; you were just being your usual whiny self. And yes, there’s a lot of murder in the Bible. Why? Because the Bible doesn’t gloss over human behavior–it tells it like it is, murder, rape, cynicism, and all. The Bible, and the God who inspired it, also calls on us to rise above that: Both Jews and Christians understand that the most important commandment is to love as we wish to be loved, to do for others as we wish for others to do for us, and to do so not just for members of our own “tribe,” but for even those who hate us.

          Of course, when you set such a high ethical bar, people always fall short of it, and there are always hypocrites who–like you–like to pick out verses which justify their self-righteousness.

      • Phil Adler

        I know a lot of bigots who use religion as their reasoning for being bigots.

        • Joy Rose

          So do I. They think just because someone is religious, it’s ok to be bigoted towards them. They actually quote it like it’s a tenet of their own belief system or something.

          Ah well, with some people you can’t win.

          • Phil Adler

            We’re definitely not on the same page. I mean religious people use religion to be bigots.

            Who disagrees with gay marriage? Who disowns their gay children? And what about the Westboro Baptist Church? All religious.

          • Joy Rose

            I had a feeling we weren’t on the same page, but wanted to know if you could be induced to consider the possibility that atheists are being jerks when they treat people the same way… or if you were the sort who believed that religion is all that is wrong in this world and any way that atheists treat religious folk is justified by how terrible religion is.

          • Phil Adler

            I had a feeling you were just a dumba$$ who believed atheists are jerks.

            Yes, I do believe that religion is a huge problem in this world. Look at the wars, the crusades, ISIS, etc. Many fueled by religious beliefs. If we had no religion, we’d have fewer wars. Fact.

          • Joy Rose

            I don’t believe all atheists are jerks. But you seem to believe that it’s ok for atheists to act like jerks if they’re dealing with religious folk, and that it’s stupid for religious folk to expect atheists to live up to the same moral standards as everyone else.

            Which really winds up demeaning atheists for more than I could if I were trying to do so.

          • Phil Adler

            I don’t believe it’s okay for anyone to act like jerks, but I find it’s religious people fabricating stories to make atheists look bad.

          • Joy Rose

            Are you a religious person calling me things like “dumba$$” in order to make atheists look bad?

          • Phil Adler

            I am an agnostic person calling you things like “dumba$$” because you’re making atheists look bad.

          • Phil Adler

            As far as moral standards go, most intelligent people don’t need believe in a religion to have morals. It’s called COMMON SENSE.

          • Jami

            Or maybe you’re the DA who refuses to accept all humans have flaws, including atheists.

          • Phil Adler

            All humans do have flaws, including religious people.

          • Jami

            Obviously. People misuse religion all the time to defend their evil. But there are people who misuse Darwin to defend their’s. I probably could misuse Harry Potter to defend some sort of evil. Instead of blaming religion for these things blame the PEOPLE. Blaming religion is JUST as stupid as blaming video games, rap music, tv shows, etc for violence/bigotry/whatever.

          • Phil Adler

            “But there are people who misuse Darwin to defend their’s.”

            No they don’t lol

            Honestly, I’ve never heard this before in my life.

          • Jami

            I’ve seen it. Especially on Tumblr or in replies to articles by childfree by choice people. Calling gay and/or CFBC people “evolutionary failures” saying “the sole purpose of existence is to reproduce so if you’re gay/don’t want/can’t have children you’re a waste of resources and should kill yourself.”

            Obviously you’re too much of a hermit to know this.

            Also, remember Hitler was an atheist despite claims he was a Pagan and he misused Darwin to murder 6 million Jews as well as Christians, gay people, the disabled, Romani, etc.

          • Phil Adler

            I don’t hang out on the failure that is Tumblr, so that makes me a hermit?

          • Matt Westwood

            Hitler was a good Roman Catholic, and had the full moral backing of the Roman Catholic church, who to a certain extent bankrolled him.

          • Will Flynn

            No, Hitler was not an athiest. Holy Shiiite, I cannot believe this crapola is still being used to backup a faulty premise. When you have to continue to LIE to try and make a point, you have no point to make.

          • Janet Miles

            Heh. I’m CFBC and I figure I’m helping evolution along by not passing on all the hereditary conditions that run in my family (cancer, depression, Parkinson’s, …).

          • Kryss LaBryn

            Sadly, there are people who use “arguments” based on faulty “science” to oppress, and even sterilize and kill other people. Take eugenics, for example, and any “science” that argues that certain classes of people (whether based on race, or gender, or physical impairments, or whatever) just are not fit to hold certain jobs, or just aren’t as intelligent, poor things, or are morally bankrupt or criminals just because, or that they really ought to just all be killed for the good of the human species.

            Some people are just arseholes, with or without religion. Some people are good people, with or without religion.

            Historically, arguing that being part of a racially- or religiously-different group makes members of said group automatically less human is going to be problematic as heck (and outright wrong, sheesh), whatever rationale one is using to justify the enmity towards them. :/

          • Jami

            I know atheists who think all gay people should be killed as “evolutionary failures.” Bigotry is a human failing, not a failing of religion.

          • Phil Adler

            Oh, it is truly a failing of religion as well. There are a lot of failures of religion despite some people preaching that “God loves everyone” the Bible proves that simply is not true.

          • Oh? Where does the Bible prove that?

          • Phil Adler

            Have you read the whole thing? If you haven’t, do so. If you have, you probably need a refresher. It’s not all sunshine and daisies.

          • Yes I have. Several times, in the original languages, and with a knowledge of the historical events surrounding the Biblical narratives. So please, give me an example.

          • Phil Adler

            Give me an example you think I would give, since you know the whole Bible this should not be difficult.

          • Dude, I’m not going to do your work for you. What, have you not actually read that which you criticize?

          • Phil Adler

            There’s definitely at least several obvious choices of God being a dik.

            Noah’s ark, Jonah and the whale, are just a few examples. Yes, God clearly loves everyone even though he killed everyone and everything (except Noah and the animals on the ark) and almost killed Jonah in a whale.

          • Ah, so you HAVEN’T actually read the Bible.

            Regarding Noah’s Ark: “The LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually… Now the earth was corrupt in God’s sight, and the earth was filled with violence.” (Gen. 6:5, 11). If you go back to chapter 4, you’ll see that there was an ever-escalating cycle of violence and revenge. God had sent prophets, like Enoch, but that failed to break the cycle. Therefore, God ended it with the flood, and saved those who were willing. Heck, even having Noah build the ark was a call for people to repent for however many decades construction took.

            Jonah and the whale is possibly the stupidest example you could have chosen: If you knew anything about history, you’d know that the Assyrians at that time were famous for building pyramids out of human skulls and using human skin in their upholstery. And yet, God loves them enough to call them to repent. So he sends Jonah, who no more wants to preach to the Ninevites than you would want to preach to ISIS. So to save hundreds of thousands, God puts Jonah through the wringer–but still saves Jonah’s life, you’ll notice.

            So, still waiting for an actual example. I’m about to head out for a few hours (ironically, to teach Christians about the Jewish feastdays), so you can take your time to come up with one. I trust that you’ll actually do so instead of just spamming the thread with a bunch of names.

          • Phil Adler

            I find it difficult to believe that the entire world was corrupt, but go ahead, believe a single book. Maybe I’ll write one saying you’re an idiot, just so you’ll shut up.

          • Dude, we started out discussing what the Bible says, so of course I’m arguing from that book. Geez, you anti-theists can’t even hold a logical argument in your head for a single discussion, can you? All this proves is that your hatred of the Bible and the religious is completely irrational.

          • Phil Adler

            No, it’s quite rational and your quotes don’t detract from that. Stop covering for God’s terrible actions.

          • Matt Westwood

            What I don’t understand is how the whale (or big fish, Leviathan, whatever) fetched up at Nineveh to puke Jonah up at. I looked up where it is on Google Maps and I’m puzzled. Can you help me here?

            Assyrians build pyramids of human skulls? The Israelites built a great mountain of human foreskins. What’s your point?

          • Kryss LaBryn

            How about the part where God commands that if you see someone working on the Sabbath, it is an offence to God, and your duty is to immediately kill them? Even if they do not actually follow your religion?

            Or the part where the way parents are commanded to deal with recalcitrant teens by taking them to the priest, complaining how disobedient and lazy they are, and then gathering a crowd together to stone them to death?

            Or, like, pretty much *all* of Leviticus?

          • Ah, finally a decent example. Well, not the “ALL of Leviticus nonsense.” Leviticus is, after all, where we get “You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD” (Lev. 19:18). So clearly you’ve not read it, and are therefore disqualified to criticize it.

            But regarding the sabbath: There’s a reason God puts so much emphasis on it FOR JEWS ONLY. (No Gentile has an obligation to do more than “remember” the Sabbath.) To quote Ahad Ha’am: “More than the Jews have kept the Sabbath, the Sabbath has kept the Jews.” That is, rigidly keeping the Sabbath has been crucial in the preservation of the Jewish people through two thousand years of exile. God knew this in advance, and that’s why he made deliberately violating it into a capital crime: Every culture has levied its highest penalties against those whose actions put the whole people at risk. God’s apparent harshness turns out to have been an act of love.

            Besides, the Sabbath is the reason you have a weekend, so what are you complaining about?

          • Ah, so the Westboro morons justify a general bigoted attitude against the religious? Does that mean that the fact that some gay men molest teenagers justifies homophobia? Or are you just committing the fallacy of guilt by association?

          • Phil Adler

            Gay men molest teenagers? Last I checked, it was Catholic priests. Might want to recheck your sources, bub.

          • I said “some.” Just like only some Catholic priests have committed molestation. Now actually answer what I said instead of misquoting me to continue to justify your bigotry.

          • Phil Adler

            I’m bigoted? Against whom? Catholic priests who molest young boys and religious folk who use it to justify disowning their gay children.

          • Laren Dowling

            Considering even George Takei admits to being molested at 13 by another gay man, and thinks there’s nothing wrong with it, as he claims it’s perfectly normal in the gay community… yeah, there are a lot of gay men who do molest teens.

          • Phil Adler

            I’m afraid I’m gonna need a source for that.

      • Jami

        It’s Cynthia/Nancy, all she does is troll. She’s probably super religious herself with 20 children and trying to make all atheists and childfree by choice people look bad.

        • Phil Adler

          This is one thing she’s said that’s not trolling.

          • Jami

            No, it’s trolling. Because she’s looking for a reaction. I have atheist friends who use the saying “Fear of God” simply because it’s such a standard thing to say. So she could’ve considered OP doesn’t believe in God and keep her mouth shut.

          • Phil Adler

            No, religion is fukced up for making a sky being that everyone should be afraid of.

          • Jami

            And I’ve decided to block Phil because he’s just too ignorant and bigoted to reply to anymore. You can’t fix stupid.

            Bigotry, again, is a HUMAN failing, not a religious one. The Bible doesn’t cause people to be bigoted anymore than video games make the violent. Period.

          • Phil Adler

            Oh, yes, I’m ignorant and bigoted, right.

            No, I’m not the one who hates atheists, and I don’t hate religious people either, just those who use their religious beliefs to justify their bigotry.

          • Zetal47

            Video games never claim to be an authority on how to live your life. Video games don’t try to tell you what to do (and when they do it’s good advice like ‘don’t forget to take a break for food!’) or threaten you with eternal punishment if you don’t follow their code, or promise you eternal reward if you do.

          • Phil Adler

            Video games > religion

      • Jami

        Even though I have CC and Phil blocked I’m going to say one last thing on this.

        While I’ve dated other people, I only ever had one serious relationship – it was when I was 18. He was an atheist – and a pothead. (He was also a huge Star Wars fan.) And he was abusive.

        Any time I dared disagree with him (which I always did in a gentle manner since he frightened me) he’s throw me into walls. Especially whenever I dared to ask him to not rag on religion since I believe in God. He also did this whenever he was reminded that while I like Star Wars, I prefer Star Trek for that matter. I often came home with bruises under my clothing from him. I didn’t break up with him because I was also told by bullies how I’m ugly and worthless and would die alone. So I figured I couldn’t do better. Mom finally gave me the push and the courage I needed to dump him.

        To this day I still get really panicky whenever an atheist says something that he would say before throwing me into walls. (Same with anything in the Star Wars VS Star Trek, BTW.)

        But I don’t judge ALL atheists by him. Even if for a moment they make me flash back to being a terrified teen afraid her boyfriend is about to kill her. They don’t mean to.

        Nor should atheists judge ALL religious people by the idiocy of a few. We’re not all science denying anti-vaxxer bigots. (I believe science and religion are lovers, not enemies.)

        Again, just like video games do NOT cause violence, neither does religion cause bigotry. It’s a HUMAN failing, not a religious one.

  • Souless night

    Teens are so annoying when they expect people to just be “cool” about breaking laws

    • godzillahomer

      At a restaurant

      “You want me to be cool?”
      “Yeah, man.”
      “You heard them Boris, toss them in the walk-in freezer.”

    • Cristian Ilkka

      Even more annoying when they won’t take “no” for an answer. They just keep repeating that “come on maaaan” “duuuudeeee” “just this tiiimeee” ad nauseaum. Once had a kid repeat those phrases, or variations of them, over 30 times until he got the hint and bugged off.

    • Sledge Sparrow

      Ain’t just kids. I used to be a customer service operator (phone monkey) for a finance company. I got sick of people whining that I wouldn’t let them access their mother’s/son’s/daughter’s/whatever account, so I explained that doing so would lead me to get fired, fined up to £10,000 and put in jail for a year. Didn’t make the slightest bit of difference.

  • Peter Bailey

    “Two minutes later, I have three cop cars pull in” good grief! I don’t think we’d get that sort of response here in the uk to a call

    • steeledminer616

      Well probably stems from the fact they were likely in the area (given one was a regular, after all), and that it’s the middle of the night (so less busy as-is)

      • Michael Taylor

        And probably bored half to death.

    • Cally

      We would at our place, we supply the coffee to all the cops around here, hahah!
      I’m just joking. About them coming running, that is.

  • Anthony Christopher

    Sometimes I wish it was possible to (temporarily) give teens like this the symptoms of what a lifetime of smoking does to the body. “Still want those cigarettes even after feeling like you’re coughing up your lungs and suffocating in open air? Go right ahead.”

    • Phil Adler

      Hank Hill tried that, I think Bobby got addicted.

    • godzillahomer

      who knows, maybe it will be, virtual reality technology is getting better bit by bit, give it a century or two, and it might be possible

    • KashyaCharsi

      Our packs have scary photos on them at least.

      • Phil Adler

        “They could be in a black pack, with a skull and a crossbones on the front, called TUMORS, and smokers would be lined up around the block to get em”

        • Torbjörn Axelsson

          Just google “australian cigarette packets”.

          Black with skull and crossbones is not deterring, Australias packaging is.

          Beware that most of the packages is used for a vivid colour photography of the results of smoking.

          • Kryss LaBryn

            They do that in Canada as well. They also aren’t allowed to have the packages on display anymore. Also, nicotine patches etc are super cheap now, and I believe that if you go to your doctor (which is free here) and say you want to stop smoking, they’ll get you patches etc for free, too.

            Smoking has dropped dramatically here in the past ten years or so, and a heck of a lot since I was a kid and pretty much everyone’s parents smoked. We used to make ashtrays in kindergarten for them instead of the pen holders they do these days.

          • Cally

            The UK does that too.

    • Samuel

      I don’t get how it’s even possible to start smoking. Nobody enjoys their first cigarette.

      • BamaDan

        I once smoked half a cigarette. I was dating this girl who was a smoker so I thought I would try it. I was 21 at the time. I had taken 2 or 3 puffs a few times before and it gave me a buzz kinda like I had drank 3 or 4 beers. So, I had the bright idea I was gonna smoke a whole cigarette. Smoked half of it and had a fairly good buzz going but then all of a sudden it felt like my throat was on fire. I coughed a little but my throat burning was too much. I threw the cigarette down and never touched another one. When I was 16 years old a lot of my friends dipped and they kept trying to get me to. I would get a small pinch and put it in my mouth to shut them up. I went to the store and bought a tin of Copenhagen. Went home and got a big dip. Sat on the toilet in case I got sick. About 20 minutes later the room started spinning. I hit my knees and I started throwing up in the toilet. I threw up about 7 or 8 times. I was so sick and dizzy I had to crawl to my bed. When I was able to walk again I walked outside and threw the rest of it into a field beside my house. Nicotine is not my friend. How people get hooked is a mystery to me.

  • Cristian Ilkka

    Dude, that was so NOT cool.

    I mean who hangs around causing trouble to innocent OP like that? Shame.

    • Lou Miller

      Drunks.

    • KashyaCharsi

      The world’s dumbest hooligans.

  • BamaDan

    I’ve shared this story before but looks like a good time to share it again. I’m working in a convenience store and guy who looks under 30 or whatever the age is supposed to be comes in and asks for a pack of cigarettes. I ask for ID. He says “Hold on” and goes outside to the car before I can explain to him why that won’t work. He sends his wife in to get them. I tell her why I can’t sell them to her. She leaves, goes to the same car and an older women comes in. We go through the same routine. She argues for a couple of minutes and goes to the car. I watch as a fourth person comes i and tries the same thing. They argue with me for several minutes and finally go outside. I see them next door on the payphone. A few minutes later the older woman comes in and tells me she called the cops and they’re on their way. “I’ll have your job!” She goes back outside and the first guy comes back i and tries again. I say no again and he tells me I’ll go to jail when the cops get here. I finally decide to call the cops. I tell them what’s going on. The dispatcher says yes, they did call the police on me. I told them that you have the right to refuse service. I should have told her to send a cop to the store but I thought that was hopefully it. The older woman comes back in and stands by the register and tells every customer coming in that I won’t sell her cigarettes. 5 minutes of that and she goes back outside. This time I call my manager who lives 2 minutes away to tell her what’s happening. She said she would come to the store. She gets there and steps out of her car and immediately the 4 of them surround her and start yelling at her. The manager’s son and several of his friends were hanging out in the parking lot next door and they started walking over there. The first guy gets into an argument with somebody in the crowd and everybody starts walking back to the parking lot next door. My manager yells at me to call the cops. A fight breaks out but the cops show up a minute or 2 later and arrest the 2 fighting and arrest the older woman because she got involved trying to stop the cop from handcuffing the first guy. These people argued with me and hung around the store for over an hour. I think at that point they just wanted to prove a point and make me give in. Once she said “I’ll have your job” and other threats, I wasn’t about to give in. I wasn’t gonna sell her any cigarettes if somebody offered me $100 and I was guaranteed I wouldn’t go to jail for breaking the law. The first guy that came in went to jail with a broken nose and the older woman went too. There was another store not even half a mile down the road they could have went to and sent somebody in who had ID. I felt guilty because I felt like it was kinda my fault for not selling the cigarettes to them anyway, and I told my manager that. She told me I did the right thing.

    • KashyaCharsi

      Not your fault they were stupid enough to not only waste their time and energy on an obviously losing battle for cigarettes they could have bought somewhere else but also stay around and escalate things so long they were practically begging to be arrested.

    • Matt Westwood

      Because they looked under *30*???? Has anyone else notice how utterly *stupid* this looks???

      • The Vicar

        No, actually, it’s a fairly smart policy, up to a point.

        It makes sure that the occasional unusually-old-looking underage customer can’t break the law, and if an actual adult is offended at being asked for ID, the clerk can legitimately shrug and say “we are required to ask for ID if you even look like you’re under 30, it’s not my fault”. That’s enough to make 99% of obnoxious cases give up.

        Of course, a *better* policy is simply: we require ID from everybody, no matter what, no excuses. Catches every attempted underage customer, has the same “not my fault” escape clause for the clerk, and doesn’t require the clerk to make judgement calls at all, ever.

    • Katie Ford

      Gotta love the argumentative ones! My story is not as bad, luckily:

      At my store, we ID *everyone* buying tobacco products. Doesn’t matter if you are obviously older than Moses, I gotta ID you. Doesn’t matter if it is a co-worker, or one of your family members- EVERYONE GETS ID’d!

      So, one day, a woman (who looks to be about 50) comes up to my register, and asks for a pack of cigarettes. A moment later another customer comes up (total stranger, doesn’t know the first customer). I ask for ID, Customer #1 says she left it at home. sorry, I can’t sell you cigarettes. Customer #1 is fairly agreeable (not happy, but understands), and I start ringing up the rest of her purchases. She asks if I can break $100 bill. I pause a moment to think, and say yes I can. Transaction continues as normal, and she leaves.

      Customer #2 comes up, doesn’t say anything to me, I finish up with her. She then goes to my boss and complains about me, about how DARE I refuse to sell cigarettes to Customer #1, she was OBVIOUSLY more than old enough to be buying them! My boss said “So my cashier did the right thing and followed policy.” Customer then says “Well… she also gave the woman an attitude! When the woman asked if your cashier can break $100 bill, she sighed heavily before saying ‘yeah’!”

      Now, my boss had been no more than 30 feet away the entire time, right in line of sight, PLUS has worked with me for a year and a half. She knew exactly what was up. She told the customer sorry if she was offended, and after Customer #2 left, called me over to tell me about the ‘complaint’, and that she did not take it seriously.

    • Torbjörn Axelsson

      No reason to feel guilty. You could not make me fight just by refusing me service, regardless of how wrong I would think you were about it.

      They are the kind that gets into first fights over nothing, they need some jail time to cool down from time to time.

    • Kitty

      “The older woman comes back in and stands by the register and tells every customer coming in that I won’t sell her cigarettes.”
      GOOD! Clearly, you’re enough of a b**** without sucking on something that reeks.

      • BamaDan

        What was really funny was while she was standing there one of my regular customers who was in her 30’s and one who I had asked for ID from a long time ago and knew she was old enough, came in and asked for a pack of cigarettes. I didn’t ask for her ID and just rang her up. The older woman standing there started yelling “Look! You all saw that! He didn’t ID her! What is your name? I’m going to sue! I’ll have your job!” Her favorite thing to say was “I’ll have your job.” Really, looking back on it I should have just called the cops then. Sooner actually but when she started yelling at customers I should have done it immediately. But, then the fight wouldn’t have happened and they wouldn’t have went to jail.

        • Kitty

          “You couldn’t HANDLE my job, because it would mean having to deal with idiots like you.”

  • Difdi

    Yeah, generally not a good idea to ask a guy who likely knows all the local cops on a first name basis to “make you” stop loitering and/or trying to scam drugs when underage.

  • Serenity Feueropal

    I accidentally skipped reading the intro (I have wandering-mind syndrome) and went back to read it. It adds nothing to the story. Not sure how to feel about that.

  • Kadrina Winters

    Yikes, OP! You have some messed up priorities if you think the teenagers will be bragging about this come Monday AND you only bother calling the cops AFTER a regular complains. Not after you realized the first time they were soliciting customers to illegally buy them cigarettes OR when the (known) minors came in drunk as a skunk. Seriously, it sounds like they weren’t the only one making bad decisions that night.

    Speaking of which…. I am kind of concerned about this line: “About 20 minutes later, the teens come in and get some nachos, making a mess in the process. As they come to check out, I notice the reek of alcohol.”

    If they were loitering outside your store the whole time as it seems to suggest, this implies that you sold someone alcohol who in turn gave it to them, meaning you are just as culpable; even if you didn’t sell them cigs. I really hope when the police officer asks where they got the booze, they don’t point the finger at you and your store.

    Seriously, count yourself lucky you know these cops, because you are towing the line between smart choices and stupid actions just as much as they are here.

    • Dani

      One of them also said he lives very close, one or both could easily have gone to grab some from there, or maybe they already had it on them. Is there usually alcohol even sold at corner stores in Kentucky? I know it varies from place to place, we definitely don’t have that where I live.

      I also think OP didnt say anything the first time they solicited because I’m sure they were hoping the teens would go away then, but once they asked the second regular to buy them smokes, OP had had enough and decided to call, but because of a “complaint”.

      • Kadrina Winters

        You know, I could see that they went home and got the alcohol if OP hadn’t stated several times that they were aware of their presence outside enough to know how long it had been. I could agree that they could’ve had the alcohol on them before, though.

        As for the second regular, it should not have frankly gotten that far. Especially not after they came in drunk. (The fact they came in drunk and were able to leave to try again highlights OP’s obviously poor judgment to me.) When OP did nothing after the first time, OP opened themselves up to having to deny every sale of cigarettes, because at that point they were aware they were pestering people to buy them. It was only after a regular noted what was up that OP got fed up and did anything. God forbid these kids were doing anything illegal prior (ie public intoxication or being in possession of a substance as a minor).

        Nope, forget that! These kids are loitering and annoying customers, better call the cops! But wait, I can get a good laugh out it.

        Yeah, OP’s priorities suck. Frankly, I can forgive the kids for being stupid teenagers, but OP not so much. Re: They are very lucky that it didn’t turn out worse then this.

        • Kadrina Winters

          Ok, I figure I should add some clarification as to why I am raking OP over the fire for frankly being a [email protected] and caring more about having a story to tell.

          Tbh, I could care less about the cigarette thing and OP not telling them to scram, but the SECOND OP smelled booze on the minors, their first call should’ve been to the police. You may be trying to be nice and hope they just get lost on their own, but that is not the appropriate solution. The kids could’ve easily given up and gotten in a car to go somewhere else and hurt someone else. In my mind, if they had hurt someone else while they were drunk, it would be on OP, because OP KNEW these kids were wasted and did nothing. (Well s/he sold them nachos, which I guess was nice of him/her/desired pronoun.)

          So yeah, OP your priorities are fvcked up. You should be ashamed and extremely grateful.

    • Vulpis

      OP didn’t call the cops the first time because they were overly optimistic and figured thye had the brain cells to give up.

      • Kadrina Winters

        Please show me where it says that, because I could just as easily argue that OP didn’t call because they couldn’t be bothered.

        Besides, it may excuse not calling the cops when they didn’t immediately leave, but it does not excuse the second (when they tried to get someone else to buy cigarettes) or the third (when they came in obviously drunk as minors). The fact is it took four offenses for OP to do anything and only because someone told them. And even then, OP sees this more as a cool story then an actual concern.

        OP sucks more than these teenagers. Please do not try to justify a grown adult’s poor judgment by saying OP was just being nice. They were not.

        Edit: Edited for errors. Welp. Also sorry sounding angry and growly. I just don’t think “being nice” is a viable excuse after the cops were called after the fourth attempt.

        • Vulpis

          I didn’t say the OP was being nice, I said they were being optimistic. That whole ‘faith in humanity not being mostly comprised of complete and utter morons’ that sadly keeps getting shot in the foot.

          • Kadrina Winters

            Again, show me where it implies that was OP’s intent, because to be honest with you it reads like OP was hoping to see these kids act like a bunch of idiots so they could have a story for it. In fact, they even state in the ending not once, but twice about how exciting the whole thing was.

            “It certainly made the rest of my shift more enjoyable, and the teens had a great story to tell at school Monday!”

            And again, it does not justify letting two obvious drunk kids wander around, which is my chief complaint. If you want to argue OP is a doormat fine, but it doesn’t make their actions or priorities any less acceptable.

          • Michael Taylor

            If you’re such an expert on the OP’s intent, then you tell us what it was. This poster was offering an opinion, not evidence. Grow up.

    • AussieEevee

      Is it normal for servos in the US to stock alcohol?

      • Eilonwy_has_an_aardvark

        It varies by state law. Here in Arizona, convenience stores routinely stock wine and beer (and since drugstores and grocery stores sell hard liquor, c-stores might sell that, too, I just can’t remember if I’ve ever looked). In other states, alcohol is sold only at state-run stores, never at c-stores or grocery stores. And there are various regulations in between those extremes, like being allowed to sell only some kinds of alcohol or only during certain hours.

  • Matt Westwood

    … and that is how everybody’s time was totally wasted fvcking about over stupid laws that give the lie to “Land of the Free, Home of the Brave”.

    • AussieEevee

      You do realise that this isn’t unique to America, right? Most countries have restrictions on how old you have to be to buy cancer sticks.

      • Matt Westwood

        It’s the fuss and palaver that gets me, every time.

        • Michael Taylor

          The OP was more concerned about the kids harassing other customers. Until they became a problem in that manner, they were content to just ignore them.

  • Vulpis

    It always amuses me, the stories that can boil down to “I’ma gonna call the cops if you don’t do this!” “Go ahead.” “Here they come!…wait, why are they arresting meeeee?”

  • Sebastian Belle

    I guarantee the only person who thinks this is a “great” story is the OP who has no life and is a square.

    • robindaybird

      So how badly did daddy yell at you after he picked you up from the drunk tank?

      Also OP would’ve lost their job and the store get a fine if they got busted for selling cigarettes to minor you twit.

    • ShamrockStreak

      Sorry, but if it comes down to a choice between being a square and losing my primary source of income, then I’m going with the former, thanks very much.

    • Cally

      Says the person desperately trying to look cool with the saddest icon.
      7 for effort, 2 for ability.

  • Sledge Sparrow

    Three cop cars to deal with two drunk kids trying to buy cigarettes? How little crime is there in this town?

    • Michael Taylor

      The town I live in is like that. They all show up for every little thing. Cops get bored too.

    • JB

      Sounds like the Wiggum approach. “Okay boys, the kids look intimidating. If we can intimidate them back, one of us for each car, maybe we can scare them off”

      • Sledge Sparrow

        I read that in Wiggum’s voice.

  • Vormen Lennie Namender

    “We ain’t doing nothing!”? “this wouldn’t have happened if you’d been f***ing cool about it.” So breaking the law is nothing? And what’s cool about it? I am a non-smoker so I don’t know but I know for sure that asking strangers to do something against the law is certainly not cool.

  • AussieEevee

    Why not just order a 100 grams of cancer and skip the stick?

  • Phoebe

    “The teens had a great story to tell on Monday.” How would you know?And what is so great about being arrested? If I ever was arrested I wouldn’t want anyone to know about it!

    • Torbjörn Axelsson

      The kids, the way they behave. To them it will be a “great story”.

      The punch line of the story is likely that OP don’t think the kids learned squat, unless of course their parents have to realize what the kids are up to. Then again, 16 is a kid, 18 is practically an adult.

  • Denton Young

    Hopefully a night in the tank will snap them out of it. Sometimes realizing when you sober up that you’re behind bars will throw a scare into you.

  • Rebecca Jones

    I’m a little disappointed they didn’t end up asking a cop regular to buy cigarettes for them.

  • Kitty

    “Can you let it slide this once? Besides, I only live right down the street.”
    No, I can’t. And won’t. And if you live so close, why don’t you go back, grab your ID and return here and show it to me, so you can purchase your stuff?

    “Yeah, and this wouldn’t have happened if you’d been f***ing cool about it.”
    Ooooh, I can’t WAIT for this teen to be cut off from mom and dad’s wallets, forced to take the night shift and get the same s*** told to him by some other pimply-faced teen, because he doesn’t want to lose his job!

    “Usually putting the fear of God in them is enough.”
    F*** the fear of god! FEAR MOM. She’s worse.

  • Cally

    Oh shock, horror, gasp! The fundamentalist Christians made several mountains out of a couple of molehills.
    Anyone else here surprised?

  • CourageousConservative

    Is there a curfew law I’m missing here?

  • Darth Pseudonym

    This is criminal incompetence. Like, these criminals are incompetent.

    Just go to a different gas station, and this time the 16 year old stay outside and out of sight while his buddy gets the cigs. It’s not exactly rocket surgery.

  • Croi Dhubh

    “Social disability”…yeah…sure.

    Then the cops come in and throw them in detox? Winners all the way around here