Angst Over The Ants

Mom: “So, lately, I’ve been having trouble with all these ants in the kitchen! We’re on the fifth floor, and yet they climb up and they’re everywhere! I’ve tried spraying, I’ve tried stomping, I’ve tried everything, but nothing gets rid of them!”

Me: “Hmm… Mom, why do you still have that old ugly plant?!”

(I’m talking about this old plant of hers that’s wide as three people, and about ten feet tall. She keeps it next to the kitchen in the dining room.)

Mom: “It’s not ugly!”

Me: “Mom. It’s half dead. You don’t clean it. I can see cobwebs and thick dust all over the leaves! And look at all those dead, gross leaves on the soil! Some are rotting!”

Mom: “I don’t have time to clean it! And I water it everyday. Here, see?”

(Mom gets a tall cup, fills it with water, and lovingly pours it into the plant. After a few moments, I look down and scream.)

Me: “Mom, look! Ants!”

(Ants start pouring out of the plant, desperately trying to get away from the water. Mom stares in shock.)

Me: “You see! The ants have made their nest in this ugly big plant! Look, some are carrying their eggs to safety!”

Mom: “…”

(Mom still refuses to get rid of her beloved plant despite it being the source of her ant problem. She still waters it, and still stomps the ants everyday.)