Angelica Was No Angel

, , , , , , | Right | July 25, 2018

(One of our new hires is trying to explain to a client that we can’t give a refund on medication he has taken home, used some of, and decided he didn’t need. I come up to help her out.)

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Client: “Like I was telling the new girl here, when I got the medication the girl told me I could bring it back if I didn’t like it, even if I just had one pill left.”

Me: “Unfortunately, that is incorrect; do you remember who it was so I can make sure they are retrained?”

Client: “No, I don’t remember who it was, and I don’t care. I want my money back; she said I could, so I should get it back. Make her give me my money back.”

Me: “Was her name Angelica, by any chance?”

Client: “Yes, that was it.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir. Angelica no longer works here; she had a history of giving people false information about our policies. We cannot honor anything Angelica told you.”

(The client is not happy but leaves without a refund.)

New Hire: “So, when did Angelica get fired?”

Me: “That’s a good question. I guess, technically, never. We have never had an Angelica work here, ever.”

New Hire: “But you said—”

Me: “I know. See, whenever a client is trying to pull something over on us, they always claim to have ‘spoken to someone,’ and they can never remember who it was. We could call them a liar and have them get mad at us; instead, we supply a name, they agree, and we tell them that Angelica was a liar. They think that we believe their lie and, while they aren’t happy, they don’t get to scream, ‘Are you calling me a liar?’ So, whenever any of us says that a client spoke to Angelica, that means we know they are making it up but don’t want to say so to their face.”

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