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And We All Had A Merry, Hungover Christmas

, , , , , , | Related | December 21, 2020

My nephew is visiting my home for dinner. I mention my Christmas plans for this year, which prompts my nephew to bring up his misadventure last Christmas.

Nephew: “Did I ever tell you that story where I got into a drinking contest last Christmas?”

Me: “No. What happened?”

Nephew: “Okay, so school had just finished their Christmas party and holidays were about to begin. And a few of my dormmates decided to challenge the rest of us to drinking contests as an after-party.”

Me: “And the teachers allowed you to do that?”

Nephew: “Nope. It was totally illegal. Anyway, [Dormmate #1] somehow convinced me to get into a drinking contest with him. I initially declined, but then he said he’d give me a handicap. For every shot of wine I took, he’d take a shot of vodka, instead.”

Me: “Vodka? Are you serious?”

Nephew: “He’s Estonian! You know, ex-Soviet Union. They can drink.”

Me: “Jesus. Imagine the state of his liver. Anyway, what happened next?”

Nephew: “So, we sat down and started drinking. Loser suffered a penalty. In my case, the loser had to wear [Dormmate #1]’s girlfriend’s prom dress and pose in front of the whole dorm.”

Me: “You’re serious?”

Nephew: “Eh, it wasn’t so bad. My friend [Dormmate #2] had to swallow a morning-after pill when he lost.”

Me: “Oh, my God! Was he okay?”

Nephew: *Shrugs* “He was a lightweight. Went down after only five shots of wine. I went to fifteen.”

Me: “So what happened? Did you win?”

Nephew: “I woke up the next morning with the worst hangover, still wearing that prom dress. I had to ask the cleaning lady to help me out of it.”

Me: “You lost? But he was drinking vodka; you had wine!”

Nephew: “Like I said, he’s ex-Soviet Union. He can drink. I actually still have the prom dress. His girlfriend didn’t want it back.”