And That’s Why They Call It The Booze

(Our band and orchestra director is fairly laid back, and the winds in orchestra, especially the other bassoon player, enjoy joking around with him, even in rehearsal. We are a day away from our state contest, and he is giving us hints on what to do and what not to do before contest. I am also a well-renowned goody-two-shoes.)

Director: “Winds, don’t use any perfume or cologne that morning. I mean, use deodorant, but perfumes and such tend to have alcohol, which can dry out your mouth.”

Bassoon: “So we should just stay away from alcohol then?”

Director: “Well, I mean, you should probably do that anyway-”

Me: “Dang, there go my plans for tonight.”