And That’s How The Calorie-Counting Crumbles

(I work at a yogurt shop one summer in college. Because so many people are weight-conscious, I quickly became aware of the caloric content of everything we sell.)

Customer: “Hi, do you have anything low calorie?”

Me: “Yes, our vanilla frozen yogurt is non-fat, and has [X] calories in a small, and [Y] in a large. The chocolate is low-fat, and has [A] calories in a small, and [B] in a large.”

Customer: “Great, I’ll take the non-fat vanilla, small.”

Me: “Would you like it in a cup or a cone?”

Customer: “A cup. I don’t want the calories from the cone!”

Me: “Okay.” *takes cup, gets ready to serve yogurt*

Customer: “That’s the NON-fat vanilla, right?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. The vanilla is non-fat.” *dishes out yogurt*

Me: “Would you like any toppings on that?”

Customer: “Do you have any chocolate sauce?”

Me: “Yes, we have regular chocolate sauce and non-fat chocolate sauce.”

Customer: “How many calories in the non-fat sauce?”

Me: “[N] calories.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll have that.”

Me: *adds sauce*

Customer: “Oh, and put some of that crumbled Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup on it!”

Me: “…”