An Unspeakable Offense

CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(I am at work one day and suddenly I am unable to speak. I am taken to the hospital in an ambulance. At first the doctor thinks that I am having a stroke; however, it ends up being diagnosed as a migraine with expressive aphasia. This happens when I return to work on Monday:)

Boss: “I need to speak to you in the office.”

Me: “Okay.”

Boss: “So, I need to talk to you about you leaving work early. Normally, that would be a fireable offense, since you are a new employee, but I decided to write you up, instead. Keep in mind that if it happens again, we will have to let you go.”

Me: “Um, the only time I have ever left early was the other day… in an ambulance. I have been early every other day, and have left on time every day.”

Boss: “Oh, I know. But you left early the other day. That is not okay.”

Me: “I left early. In an ambulance. Which you called.”

Boss: “Yes, but you still left early. Please sign this.”

(I am handed the write-up, which states that I left early, and if I do so again I will be fired. It does not say why I left early.)

Me: “I’m not signing this. It makes it sound like I left early just because, not because of a medical emergency.”

Boss: “Well, if you don’t sign it, then I am afraid that we will have to let you go.”

Me: “That’s fine. Here is my badge; I quit.”

Boss: “Wait, what? You need to give me two weeks notice.”

Me: “Actually, two weeks notice is just a courtesy, just like not writing up employees who have medical emergencies is a courtesy. Have a nice day.”

(I handed him my badge and left.)