An Unnatural Use For Natural History

I’m working at a natural history museum. I see a little child running toward a model of one of our dinosaurs. They are eagerly admiring it and I can’t help telling them a few fun facts. Suddenly, their mother runs over and pulls them aside.

Mother: “No! Remember, I told you, no dinosaurs!”

The mother then narrows her eyes at me.

Mother: “And you! You should be ashamed of yourself, poisoning young minds into thinking dinosaurs were real!”

Me: “But ma’am, they were.”

Mother: “No! Dinosaur bones were put into the ground by the devil to confuse people and make them believe in evolution.”

Me: “I… Ma’am, if you believe that, then why are you at a natural history museum?”

Mother: “I wanted my child to see the volcano exhibit.”

Me: “Oh, that’s great. Just up these stairs.”

Mother: “Come with me, [Child]. You need to see what Hell will look and feel like in case you start straying again.”