An Orchestra Of Confusion
(Our theatre has one auditorium, [Hall], with two levels: orchestra and balcony. When taking tickets, I routinely have these conversations with patrons:)
Me: “Okay, you’re upstairs in the balcony, nearest—”
Patron: “WE ARE NOT IN THE BALCONY! WE ARE IN [HALL]!”
Me: *politely* “Yes, the balcony section of [Hall].”
Patron: *snatches ticket back and storms up the stairs*
(Another example:)
Patron: *rushing up in a panic* “The sign says ‘orchestra’ above the door to the theatre! We don’t want to watch the orchestra; we want to see the play! We paid to see the play!”
Me: *politely* “Yes, you will be able to see the play. Your seats are simply on the first level of the auditorium.”
Patron: “Oh. But if the orchestra blocks our view, can we get a refund?”
Me: *picking my battles* “This play doesn’t have an orchestra. I’m sure you’ll be fine, but please let the staff know if there are any problems.”
(Another example: seeing, “ORCH,” short for “orchestra,” on their ticket, a patron asks, completely serious:)
Patron: “Does ‘orch’ mean there’s an orchard in there?”
Question of the Week
Tell us about the most outrageous request a customer has ever made!