An Iron-Giant-Sized Flaw In Your Logic

, , , , | Romantic | September 27, 2019

(My girlfriend and I have a nine-year age difference. At the time of this story, I am 33 and she is 24. As such, she mainly grew up in the naughties while I grew up in the nineties. She has decided that any movie made before around 1998 is “too old” to be any good. I have made it my mission to get her caught up on a variety of twentieth-century movies to prove her wrong. We are watching “The Iron Giant.” Near the end, the titular robot sacrifices himself to save the town from a high-yield missile.)

Girlfriend: “Aww, he died?”

Me: “Well, it looks like he did.”

Girlfriend: “That’s so sad.”

(In the end, we see the Iron Giant reassembling itself and opening its eyes.)

Girlfriend: “Oh, he’s alive! He didn’t die! Why did you tell me he died?”

Me: “I didn’t. I said it looked like he died.”

(Another time, we watch “ET: The Extraterrestrial.” We get to the part where ET dies and is in the refrigerator unit and body bag.)

Girlfriend: “Oh, my God! He’s dead!”

Me: “Yes, he is currently dead.”

Girlfriend: “That’s terrible! Why would you make me watch such a sad movie?”

(ET comes back to life as his people near Earth.)

Girlfriend: “He’s not dead! You told me he was dead!”

Me: “He was dead. Now he’s alive again. It was the 80s. Family blockbusters were never that sad.”

(This happens while watching the first “Back to the Future” movie after Dr. Brown gets shot by the Libyan terrorists.)

Girlfriend: “Oh, no, he’s dead?”

Me: *unable to take it anymore* “[Girlfriend], this is the beginning of the first part of a three-part movie involving time travel and he’s one of the two principal characters. Do you really think he’s going to stay dead?”

Girlfriend: “Oh…”

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