An Inuidiot

(I help man several booths in downtown Anchorage during the summer that sell various jewelry, wood carvings, and ulu knives, all handmade by native Alaskans. Today I’m with one of the jewelry makers who is explaining the history behind each stone she uses while demonstrating how she crafts each piece.)

Customer: “So all of this is made by you? Made by a native Alaskan?”

Jewelry Lady: “Yep, every one.”

Customer: “So you’re, like, an actual Eskimo?”

Jewelry Lady: *laughs* “I’m Inupiat actually but otherwise yes, I’m as native as you can get around here.”

(The customer cocks his head as if confused.)

Customer: “Man, you talk really eloquently for a druggie! I mean aren’t you all supposed to be stoned out of your heads all the time?”

(I stare at the man incredulously. My jewelry lady gets a very smug smile on her face.)

Jewelry Lady: “Oh, give me time. The idea sounds better and better with every customer I get like yourself.”