An In-Crease In Crazy Demands

(On my till, I often have some bags resting on top. It is around the Christmas period so I have some big bags on the top of the till because a lot of people have been asking for them. An old woman approaches my till and points to the large bags on the top of the till. They’re folded so you can’t really see the size.)

Customer: “Can I have one of your bags, please?”

Me: “Of course. A large or small bag?”

Customer: “Small.”

(The cashier before me has saved time and opened a load of small bags and stored them inside a bigger bag beneath the till. I take one of these out and scan it through for the lady.)

Customer: “Oh. Don’t I get a new one?”

Me: “This is a new bag. They’ve just already been opened, so it is a little creased, but I can assure you it is new.”

Customer: “I want a new one.”

(I don’t argue. Instead, I take one off the shelf below the till which is nice and flat. I don’t bother to point out that by the time she’s opened it and packed her stuff that it’ll be as creased as the other one I offered.)