An Explosive Combination Of Gassy, Loud, And Stupid

I had just graduated from college, and I was looking for my first freelance job. Someone from my school was kind enough to introduce me to a local business owner.

Client: “I need this done yesterday. I need a new logo and a business card, and I need them quick! I’m only gonna pay you $100 since you’re fresh out of school and I was told you’d get me a deal.”

I was annoyed, but I needed money. I agreed.

Client: “95% of my company produces gas tanks for bigrig trucks, and 5% of it is me selling vintage guitars. So, I want my logo to be a guitar. And for my business card, I’m going to give you my work number, but I don’t ever answer it. Instead, I’m going to give you my cell phone number, but I want it to be secretly hidden in the card so only special people will know what it really is.”

Terrible ideas, sure, but he wasn’t paying me enough to fight him. I banged out a guitar logo and sent him a screenshot to see if he liked it (without giving him a copy he could steal).

Two weeks later, I got a voicemail.

Client: “Hey, this is the guy you’re building the logo for. I received our email, and the logo is looking really good. But you didn’t give me your email, so I can’t get back to you. I’m not really sure how this whole ‘paying you’ thing is going to work out.”

He didn’t understand the concept of responding back to an email.

I erased the files and blocked his number. I don’t care how new I was in the field. It wasn’t worth it.