An Excess Of Humidifier Humility

I went into a local small town branch of a nationally owned chain, looking for a white noise machine. I had a previous humidifier that I used for this purpose (to create noise, not to humidify). I wanted to find the same thing but couldn’t remember the brand.

A salesperson approached.

Employee: “Can I help you find anything?”

Me: “I am looking for a very loud, very cheap humidifier that doesn’t necessarily need to work.” 

Employee: *Without missing a beat* “You’ve come to the right place.”