An Ex Rumspringa

(My best friend and I talk to each other on the phone at least once a week, if not more. He and I used to date some years ago, but are now just friends, and are both in happy, fulfilling relationships. A few weeks before this, he had posted a photo of himself on Facebook, where I noted that in his unshaven state, he looked Amish.)

Me: “You really do need to shave though. You look Amish.”

Friend: “I know. You said. Can I just trim, instead of shaving?”

Me: “Sure. As long as you stop looking Amish!”

Friend: “What if I just start wearing a Quaker hat instead, though?”

Me: “I was about to say I’d break up with you, but then I remembered that we’re not actually dating anymore.”

Friend: *laughing* “I don’t think your boyfriend would be too happy about that.”

Me: “Nah, he won’t mind. He’ll probably just laugh when I tell him.”

(Later, I’m telling my boyfriend about the conversation while we chat online.)

Friend: “What’s a Quaker hat?”

Me: “I like that you focus more on that than the fact that I literally forgot that I’m not dating one of my exes.”

(He really has his priorities straight.)