An Even Harder Manhattan Project
Alcohol, Bar, Creative Solutions, Editors' Choice, Impossible Demands, Jerk, USA | Right
| April 15, 2026
I work at a cocktail bar.
Customer: “Can I get a non-alcoholic Manhattan?”
Me: “Uh, not really, no. That cocktail isn’t really viable as a non-alcoholic version.”
Customer: “I see, it’s my fault as I phrased it like a question. I want a non-alcoholic Manhattan.”
Me: “Doesn’t matter how you phrase it, ma’am, I can’t make you a virgin version of a cocktail that’s essentially all alcohol.”
Customer: “This place is meant to be the best cocktail bar in the city, and with the prices you charge, I expect you to give the customer what they want.”
Me: “I can suggest some non-alcoholic options that might have the same flavor profile, but—”
Customer: “Non… alcoholic… Manhattan.”
So I brought over a martini glass with a cherry in it.
