An Epidemic Of Stupidity

(I work for a company that sells emergency preparedness gear, including gas masks, chemical suits, and other disaster response equipment. Any time there’s a disaster or terrorist attack, our sales go through the roof by ‘preppers’ and other panicking individuals. Recently, there’s been an Ebola epidemic with the first cases occurring in the United States; thousands of orders have been coming in and those who ordered entire sets of equipment are backlogged at least a month.)

Customer: “I’m checking on an order. I was charged but haven’t seen any shipping info yet. I placed it 7-10 days ago.”

Me: “And did you order any gas masks or full sets of equipment?”

Customer: “I’m not sure. I ordered a suit. For Halloween.”

Me: *thinking such a small order should have been finished, I pull up his information* “Sir, you didn’t order just a suit, you ordered an entire protective kit… mask, filter, suit, gloves, boots, etc.”

Customer: “That’s it!”

Me: “Sir, there’s a minimum one month delay on protective gear right now due to high order volume.”

Customer: “So, you mean I won’t have it for Halloween?”

Me: “No, sir. There is a panic epidemic going on and you were one of thousands who’ve been ordering these products.”

Customer: “Wow. I had no idea. So there’s no way I’m going to get a protective suit by Halloween?”

Me: “Sir, the entire industry is wiped clean. GLOBALLY. It will take them months to get back up to speed.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, you should really let people know when there’s an epidemic going on, so we know there’ll be delays.”