An Affair To Remember

(One of my work duties is a monthly bank deposit of the miscellaneous cash collected by various departments on our campus. This usually involves a very large stack of small bills. This time, the teller isn’t familiar with my company and my routine.)

Bank Teller: “Good morning; how can I help you?”

Me: “Deposit to [account number], please.”

(I start taking bundles of $1 and $5 bills out of my briefcase; almost $4000 total.)

Bank Teller: “Lots of singles; did you have a fair or something?”

Teller #2: *drops a tray of coins* “What?!”

Bank Teller: “I asked if he had a fair. Like a carnival or something. That’s a lot of small bills.”

Teller #2: “Oh, god, I thought you asked him if he was having an affair.”

Me: “I’m not, but if either of you is offering…”