An Absolut Bigot

I work in a theatre, and sometimes I work at the bar instead of ushering. I’ve just made a Caesar for a patron. A Caesar has clamato juice and a shot of vodka, and it is rimmed with celery salt. A minute later, he storms back, drink in hand. Also, keep in mind that I’m Asian.

Patron: “You put water in my Caesar!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Patron: “There’s no vodka in this! I don’t taste any alcohol! You must have put in water instead of vodka! I want another one!”

Me: *Pause* “Um, all right, that’ll be another $8, sir.”

Patron: “No! On the house! You screwed up my Caesar with water! I demand a free replacement!”

Me: “Sir, you saw me make the drink. It’s Absolut vodka.”

I show him the bottle.

Me: “I’m certain it’s not water in there.”

Patron: “Then you must refill your bottles with water! I didn’t taste the alcohol! Are you really that cheap of an Asian that you would refill vodka bottles with water to not buy vodka?! Make me another one!”

At this point, the one-minute call has been made.

Me: “Sir, you only have a minute left to get to your seat. I’m sorry you weren’t satisfied with your drink. Would you like to preorder for intermission, instead?”

Patron: “No! You cheap b*****ds will just rip me off again! Especially since you’re Asian!”

He stormed off.