Always Free To Complain

(As an internet service provider, the company provides a free email account. The email server’s information is currently not working properly with third party applications such as Outlook.)

Customer: “My email is not working.”

Me: “Yes, we do apologise. Our mail server is experiencing problems at this time. However, it’s web based version is always accessible for your convenience.”

Customer: “I don’t want to use the internet. I want to receive my mail.”

Me: “You can still receive mail. You just have to go to [web address].”

Customer: “No. I want to be credited for this horrible thing.”

Me: “Well, sir, is your internet service working?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Well, unfortunately that’s the service you’re paying for. The email is provided free of charge, so I am afraid I cannot credit you, considering the service you’re being charge for is working.”

Customer: “I want to be credited because the email is down.”

Me: “But, sir. You pay nothing for the email. Zero dollars.”

Customer: “I don’t care! Credit me now!”

Me: “Okay, sir. I will be happy to credit you 50% of what you have paid for the email.”

Customer: “Thank you!”