Also Not Eating Toes So Hold The Tomatoes

Customer: “I WANT the breakfast burrito but I’m watching my sodium intake.”

Me: “Well, you can leave off the sausage and bacon and just do the eggs, a low-salt cheese like the low sodium mozzarella, and the fixings — salsa, jalapenos, lettuce, tomatoes.”

Customer: “No, I’m watching my sodium intake, so no salsa. And it’s no good without the salsa.”

Me: “Our salsa IS low-sodium. See?” *I hold up the container*

Customer: “That’s not possible; it’s salsa. It’s, like, mostly salt.”

Me: “Well, this isn’t? This is mostly just the tomatoes and spices and peppers.”

Customer: “No, salsa without salt isn’t possible. That’s why it’s called SALTsa.”

(I laugh, thinking she’s joking but she stares at me.)

Customer: “No, really, that’s why they named it that.”

Me: “Oh… oh, honey, no. It’s not called SALTsa. It’s SALSA. See?” *I show her the label again*

Customer: “Oh, that must be the Spanish version. They don’t have a ‘t’ in their language.”

Me: “I’m going to go slice tomatoes now…”