Also Check Out The Endless “What People Think I Do” Charts

(I am a customer at a restaurant. I’m wearing a shirt from a popular web comic. A woman, also a customer, approaches me.)

Customer: “I love your shirt!”

Me: “Aw, thanks! Are you a fan of [web comic]?”

Customer: “No, I’ve never heard of it, but your shirt is so cute. I just have to have one! Where did you get it?”

Me: “I bought it online. Do you want the name of the website?”

Customer: *suddenly huffy and angry* “Excuse me?”

Me: “Um, do you want the name of the place on the internet that I ordered the shirt from?”

Customer: “Do you think I’m stupid? Are you trying to trick me? There’s no such thing as a website with shirts on it! The only things on the internet are p*rn and pedophiles!”

Me: *completely speechless*

Nearby customer: “Ma’am, could you please settle down? There are children around, and I’m sure their parents don’t want them hearing about–”

Customer: “P*rn and pedophiles!” *rushes out of restaurant*