Allergic To Dairy And Dip-S***s
(I am allergic to dairy; I will go into shock if I have even a small amount. A surprisingly large amount of stuff has dairy in it and I hate making people wait while I check whether something will kill me, so I often go for the easiest thing on the menu. I meet this guy online and we go to a coffee shop to meet, safely, in person. I ask for soy in my drink and he asks if it is for flavour reason; I state that it is a dietary requirement, but we don’t talk much about it further than that. We decide to continue with the relationship, and a week or so later we go on our first date. He chooses an Italian place for dinner, which is a very risky place for me to go to. I find it a little odd, considering the coffee shop, but I just go for a vegan dish to be safe. A few weeks later, he invites me out to a steak place. I have never been to this place and I can’t find a website to check their menu prior to going. It’s a little bit worrying, but I know most dairy in a steakhouse is in the optional sauces. When I arrive, my date keeps glancing at me, which I don’t really understand. We are seated and given menus, and he is now staring at me intently.)
Me: “What?”
Date: *somewhat smugly* “You won’t find anything vegan on the menu.”
Me: “What’s your point?”
Date: *smug look falters* “Huh?”
Me: “I said, ‘What’s your point?’ I’m not vegan.”
Date: “But… The soy? And at the Italian place?”
Me: “I’m allergic to dairy. Severely allergic, actually, so vegan is a safe choice for me. You took me to a steakhouse thinking I was a vegan?” *pause* “And you thought I would accept it if I was a vegan?”
Date: “W-Well, I thought it would be funny to watch you struggle.”
Me: “You wanted to watch the little vegan get upset over not being able to eat off the menu. Wow.”
Date: “But this is great that you’re just allergic! That means you’re fine to be with!”
Me: “What?”
Date: “Yeah, ’cause vegans are crazy! You don’t f*** crazy!”
(I stare at him.)
Me: “You’re totally right; you don’t f*** crazy. I don’t f*** crazy, or stupid, or a**holes. See ya.”
(I get that some vegans are in your face about it, but that guy was just a jerk.)
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