Might Want To Fold Out A Chair For This One

, , , , , | Right | March 22, 2019

My family has been getting ready to move, so we start auctioning online a lot of things we find around the house that are still in good condition. The buyers, however, have been a huge pain, for the most part. We get a few good ones, but they’re the minority, unfortunately.

We arrange a date and time, and they either don’t show, or they show up hours or even days later without even an apology. Sometimes my parents have to go out of town for something or another, leaving me to wait for these errant buyers for a few days, messing with my sleep schedule and leaving me tired and cranky.

One, however, stood far above the rest. The buyer arranged to show sometime before noon. I had a pet-sitting job I had to get up early for that same day, so after I got back I waited for the buyer to show so I could get in a nap. He finally showed up at half-past six, and he was smoking right on our doorstep without a care in the world. Everyone in my family has asthma, and he clearly wasn’t paying attention to how uncomfortable the smell of the smoke was making me. I had to drench the entryway with air freshener and leave all the windows open for hours, and I was still coughing long after he had gone. And what was all this mess for? A $7 folding chair.

Breaking Down This Week Into All The Breakdowns

, , , , | Related | March 22, 2019

(My family has just gone through a very rough week. My car broke down on the way home from class on Monday. Tuesday night, my sister’s then-fiancé, who we knew had done drugs in the past but SWORE he was clean, totaled her car, and when my step-dad went to clean it out, he found drugs in the trunk. The resulting blow-up ended up with her then-fiancé getting kicked out. Thursday morning, we woke up to a flooded living room from our water heater kicking the bucket. My mom’s car has been in for repairs for hail damage, and Friday she gets this call.)

Manager: “[Mom]?”

Mom: “Yes?”

Manager: “I don’t know how to tell you this, but… we kind of wrecked your car.”

Mom: “What?”

Manager: “One of our workers was moving the car to the garage so we could take a look at it, and he had a seizure and… ended up flooring it into the only tree on the lot.”

Mom: “…” *puts her head down and starts hysterically laughing*

Manager: “Ma’am?”

Mom: “Oh, my God, no. I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you or anything, and I hope the guy is okay, but you really don’t know the week I’ve had, and if I don’t laugh I’m going to start crying.”

An Oriented Playlist

, , , , , , , | Friendly | March 22, 2019

(My job involves running a lot of errands, and while I can usually handle it myself, I know that this trip I have a lot to pick up and will need help. I’m allowed to pull another employee, so we go get in my car, which is hooked up to my phone. When I start the car, the last song I was listening to starts playing: “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” by Whitney Houston.)

Coworker: “Oh, so, you’re a lesbian!”

(I burst out laughing and he was briefly concerned he’d offended me, until I explained that I was, in fact, a lesbian. I’ve just never been outed by a song before!)

No ID-ea Why They’re All So Upset

, , , , | Right | March 22, 2019

(There’s a really delicious Mexican place that sells just chicken as the main protein. I’ve been going there for years and while I’m not the type of person to make friends with the staff, as I’m a bit shy, I recognize most of them and they’ve always been very nice and accommodating to me. This happens as I get a chicken burrito after a long day of classes with nothing in my belly. I notice that they’ve revamped the store a bit: new menus, fixed signs, etc. but I don’t think too much about it.)

Me: “One chicken burrito, please, with hot salsa.”

Cashier: “Will that be all, ma’am?”

Me: “Yes.”

Cashier: “Okay, your total will be [total].”

Me: *hands over card*

Cashier: *suddenly looking very nervous* “Oh. Well, you see, we have a new manager. He changed some things.”

Me: “Oh? I did notice a few changes around here.” *looks up toward the signs*

Cashier: *still looking nervous* “Yeah. Well, his new policy is that you have to show ID whenever you pay with a card. Sorry.” *cringes*

Me: “Really? That’s weird. But it’s cool. I have that.” *reaches to take out ID*

Cashier: “Really?”

Me: “Huh?”

Cashier: “Most people have been complaining about it.”

Me: “That’s dumb. I would think most people would keep at least their driver’s license on them or something. I’ve got that and a regular one. It’s how I get into bars.” *I laugh*

Cashier: *laughs, too*

(I wait and get my food then realize I forgot to order an extra salsa but luckily had the 60 cents to pay for it.)

Me: “Hi— I’m so sorry, miss, but can I get another hot salsa? The 60 cent one?” *I hold out my money*

Cashier: *smiles* “Oh, just take one.” *hands me one* “Have a good day!”

Me: “Thank you so much! You, too!”

(I’ll never understand how people can blame the people who have no control over such rules. I hope I made her shift a little easier because she certainly made my day a little nicer!)

Thinking With Your Brain By Landing On Your Butt

, , , , , , , | Learning | March 22, 2019

I teach at a Montessori school, and one day, I was standing by the classroom door watching and greeting the kids as they left for their next class. As they were walking, a little boy bumped into a little girl and she fell down, landing on her buttocks. This girl is a child who easily cries, and the little boy watched her as her face started to crumble.

Normally, what would happen: the girl would cry and most probably come and complain to me that the little boy pushed her and she fell and got hurt. I could see that it was an honest mistake that the boy bumped into her and in my mind, I had already started thinking about how I was going to handle the situation.

I’m not kidding about what happened next. The little boy looked me straight in the eye and, less than a second later, threw himself down on the floor, landing on his buttocks, as well. He got up, slowly rubbing his back, and went over to the little girl and held out his hand to help her up. He said, “I’m sorry, [Little Girl]. Seems like we bumped into each other. Oh, no!”

The little girl was definitely looking slightly shocked. but she took his hand, got up, dusted herself off, and said, “Oops, sorry!” They walked off, smiling and waving goodbye to me. I was standing there with a stupefied expression, wondering just what the heck had happened.

That little boy is a genius. He avoided a scene and he knew it. This incident took place in literally a few seconds. The intelligence of children never fails to amaze me.

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