(I’m currently taking school in Italy and won’t be back until April. I mention this in all of my emailed job applications)

Me: “I’m really interested in working for you this summer, but I won’t be able to take phone calls or talk in person. I am however available for video conferencing.”

Manager: “Sounds great! We’re hosting interviews for this position on February 13th at the expo in Hall ‘E.’ What hour are you available?”

Me: “… Do I really have to rephrase this?”

(This happened a few years ago when I was shopping in a department store. I go to buy a sweater that has the price clearly marked on it. I take it to the till but it does not scan when the cashier scans it.)

Cashier: “This item is not scanning; let me call someone to do a price check.”

Me: “The price is right on the tag here. It says [price].”

Cashier: “Sorry, but we need to scan it in order to make the price go through the till.”

(Another employee comes over and I explain what’s going on.)

Employee #2: “Unfortunately we can’t sell you the item if it doesn’t scan. Can you come back tomorrow after we get it into our system?”

(I am a little puzzled as to why this is necessary, but decide to agree with them and come back the next day. Sure enough, I come back the very next day to buy it, and again it doesn’t scan.)

Cashier: “I need a price check on this item!”

Me: “Seriously? I came here to buy this exact same item last night, and I was told to come back today because the item wasn’t scanning and you needed a day to put in in your system!”

Cashier: “Sorry, but we can’t sell the item if it’s not scanning.”

Me: “Can you get a manager, please?”

(A manager comes over and I explain the situation to her.)

Manager: “Unfortunately we can’t sell you the item if it doesn’t scan. Can you come back another day so we can get it in our system?”

Me: “Okay, let me get this straight… You have this item on your sales floor to sell, with the price RIGHT ON THE TAG, and you’re telling me you can’t sell it to me because it doesn’t scan? Not to mention I was told last night to come back again so you could get it in your system? May I ask why this item is even on your sales floor to be sold if people aren’t even able to buy it?”

(At that moment, the till over from me called for a price check on an item… Guess what that person was buying?)

(I’m in my twenties and hate dentists after seeing a very bad orthodontist in my teens. My mother insists that I go to a practice that her friend has recommended, and we get appointments at the same time. We fill out our information in the waiting room, and a nurse comes in to check it.)

Nurse: “So, do either of you have any fears or problems with dentists?”

Me: *hand raises instantly* “Yep! It’s not really a fear but the smell and the noise of the drill make me feel sick…”

Nurse: “Okay. We get a lot of people who don’t like the drill, but it’ll be fine…”

(I go into the dentist, who is excellent and explains everything. I tell her why I haven’t been in so long and she’s very understanding. She writes down everything that I need done in subsequent visits, and I go back again for a filling a few weeks later. She lets me listen to music so I can’t hear the drill and get it done as quickly as possible. I go out to reception to pay and wait for my mum.)

Receptionist: *not looking up* “All right, it’s [price] for today, and we can take you on [date] for the root canal.”

Me: “What?”

Receptionist: *looks at me* “Oh, it says on your chart that you need one.”

Me: *feeling sick* “I wasn’t told. I was just given this list…”

Receptionist: *sees me turn white* “Oh. Uh, I’ll just get the dentist…”

(The dentist brought me back in and apologised. It turned out that one tooth was too damaged for a filling, but she was sparing me the horror after coping so well with the two I’d just gotten. She explained that root canals aren’t as bad as I had been told, but I could have the tooth removed instead when I went to get my wisdom teeth removed under general anaesthetic. I chose the removal, and haven’t been back in case the receptionist springs any other surprises on me…)

(I am the guest relations person, so I return calls from disgruntled customers all the time. The restaurants are fast food and all have drive thrus.)

Customer: “Did you know you have gang members hanging around your [Location] restaurant?!”

Me: “No, sir, I did not. Have you spoken with the manager of the establishment about this?”

Customer: “I did and he laughed me off!”

Me: “I’m very sorry about that, sir. We ask that our manager’s take guest concerns seriously. Where are you witnessing gang members around the facility?”

Customer: “He should be able to see them. They are hanging out in your driveway there, all wearing the same clothes ALL THE TIME!”

Me: “How are they dressed?”

Customer: “They are wearing black shirts, khakis, and hats! They are always there until you guys close!”

Me: “Sir, you are describing our drive thru staff. They are wearing our uniform and stationed outside to take orders.”

Customer: “But they’re all black and Mexican!”

Me: “We are an equal opportunity employer and do not discriminate who we hire.”

Customer: “This is bulls***! I want to talk to your manager!”

Me: “Sir, you can talk to my manager if you’d like but you are describing our staff. They are not a gang and there would be nothing she would be able to do about it.”

Customer: “I SAID I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

(My manager explained the same thing I did and the customer screamed so loudly we hung up.)

(I work as maintenance coordinator for a property management company. I get a call from a nearly 30-year-old tenant’s mother.)

Me: “Hello, This is [My Name]. How can I help—”

Mother: “You listen here. I am going to sue the living s*** out of you and you negligent company unless you fix the issues in my son’s apartment!”

Me: “I’ll do everything I can. What is the—”

Mother: “Well, YOU have already been doing ALL that YOU can. Maybe I need to talk to someone else, cause all you can do is f*** all!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m more than happy to assist you in any way I can but I will stop this conversation if you continue to be abusive. What is the add—”

Mother: “I’M BEING ABUSIVE?! You take my money EVERY MONTH so my son can live in that s***-hole! Breathing in mold, dealing with rats and roaches! WHAT ABOUT THE GOD-D*** HOLE IN THE CEILING?! Don’t you think that’s abusive!?”

Me: “Ma’am, I have no knowledge of any unit having any of these problems but for me to help I need the address—”

Mother: “YOU HAVE NO F****** KNOWLEDGE?! LET ME TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

(At this point I lose my patience.)

Me: “Ma’am, did you sign the lease for your son or were you present for the signing of the lease?”

Mother: “No, I did not, but what the h*** does that have to do with anything?”

Me: “It MEANS I legally do not have to talk you. NO ONE here has to, and if you continue to be this abrasive on the phone, I will advise the property manager to evict your adult son from his unit. I DON’T WANT TO DO THAT! Now, PLEASE, if you want me to help I need the ADDRESS!”

Mother: “Fine, it’s [address].”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t even manage that building. It’s managed by [Other Management Company].”

Mother: “Well, then, how do I get ahold of them?”

Me: “Let me Google that for you. ” *hangs up phone*