Preempting Stupidity

| Right | January 8, 2008

Manager: “When laying down the sod, make sure the green side goes up.”

Customer: “Are you serious? You have to tell me that the green side of the grass goes side up?”

Manager: “I wouldn’t have to say it if someone didn’t make the mistake.”

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Why Alcohol And Customers Don’t Mix

| Right | January 8, 2008

Me: “The Medic Recordings, how may I help you today?”

Customer: “You know why I’m calling! Can I just come?!”

Me: “Ma’am, whats the problem?”

Customer: “Oh yes I’m sorry, it’s my son. He’s very sick.”

Me: “Ma’am this is a recording studio. Are you sure you dialed the right number?”

Customer: “WHAT?! The phone book says ‘The Medic’!”

Me: “Uh…it says The Medic Recordings, I believe…”

Customer: “This is ridiculous, I don’t care what you are. I’m coming in, my son has a terrible fever!”

Me: “Ma’am I don’t think we could help you–”

Customer: “JUST BE READY!”

*Click*

(Sure enough, she showed up about 15 minutes later and was obviously drunk because she had no son nor did she know why she came.)

 

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And This Is Before They Started Trippin’

| Right | January 7, 2008

(Two customers have come in to rent some sound equipment that they need to DJ a party. I’ve given them all the basic equipment they need for the sound system.)

Me: “Is there anything else you need with your rental?”

Customer: “Yeah, we need something to make it sound better…like lights!”

Me:

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Think Unsexy Thoughts

| Right | January 7, 2008

Elderly Female: “I didn’t know they had digital scales.”

Me: *rings through scale* “Yup, they’re pretty cool.”

Elderly Female: “Are they accurate?”

Me: “I believe so, they measure to one decimal place too so it’s more accurate to read than a normal scale.”

Elderly Female: “Oh that’s so lovely!!! I’m going to go home now and weigh myself naked!!!”

Me: *bad bad image in head*

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It Tastes (And Flows) Like Water Anyway

| Right | January 6, 2008

Me, to a customer opening the beer cooler: “I’m sorry, but alcohol sales close at midnight.”

Customer: “That’s ok, I’m just getting beer.”

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