Washing Your Hands Of This Date

, , , , , | Romantic | January 18, 2020

(I’m a waiter at a fancy restaurant.)

Customer: “Excuse me, sir, are those ‘must wash hands’ signs only for the employees?”

Me: “Yes, sir. By law, we must wash our hands to prevent contamination.”

Customer’s Date: *looks disgusted, gets up, and leaves*

Customer: *plays on his phone for thirty minutes, then throws money on the table and leaves*

Stupid In Surround Sound

, , , , , | Right | January 18, 2020

(This story happens when I’m working as a supervisor at a call center, on an account which provides inbound customer service for an electronics company. In this case, a call is being escalated to me regarding a customer who is demanding service for his in-warranty TV without being willing to do any of the basic, required troubleshooting. This user’s TV is having an issue with the picture intermittently experiencing interference or jumpiness, across all connected devices — a problem which has become more and more frequent for him. I’ve been on the phone with the user for about twenty minutes before he says something which triggers my “spidey-senses,” and which the front-line agent didn’t mention.)

User: “I know it’s your TV’s fault! My A/V guy hooked everything up; it’s six feet in the air, and I can’t get to the power plug or any of the cords! I’m not taking it down to do anything! Just send someone to fix it!”

Me: “I understand the frustration. There are some troubleshooting steps we must take before sending a technician out, however, just to ensure the problem really is with the television. Additionally, based on what you’ve described, the TV would need to be taken down prior to the technician’s arrival anyway. I did want to ask, though — you mentioned you have an A/V guy; are all of your connected devices running through a single system, such as a receiver or surround system?”

User: “Yeah, so what?”

Me: “Out of curiosity, have you tried connecting something directly to the TV, instead of running it through the receiver, and seeing if the problem continues?”

User: “I’m not doing that! I told you I can’t get to any of the cords; everything’s behind the TV and the wall!”

Me: “I understand that; however, this is something we’d need to do in order to rule out the possibility that the problem is actually the receiver or surround system.”

User: “It’s not! My guy is a professional and this was expensive equipment! Just send someone out!”

Me: “Again, the TV will need to be taken down before a technician could look at it anyway. Also, the first thing they’re going to do is connect something directly to the TV and see if the problem happens there. Could I have you get hold of your A/V guy to take the TV down and try connecting something directly to the TV? If you do, and the problem continues on that device, we’ll gladly send someone out to take a look.”

User:Fine! I’ll call him tomorrow, but it’s not my equipment; it’s your TV! When it doesn’t work, I’m calling back and demanding you, and you will send someone out to replace it with a brand-new TV!”

Me: “We can definitely look into that, but if this is an issue with the TV — and I’m not convinced it is — we would first try to repair it.”

User: “Ugh, whatever. I’ll be calling back to talk to you!” *click*

(Out of curiosity, I followed up on their case file periodically over the next couple of weeks. They never called back. Guess my hunch was right. I’ll never understand how people can insist it’s not their $2,000 surround system that’s broken, it’s their TV… which also cost them about $2,000.)

Has Very Bad Comic(on) Timing

, , , , , | Friendly | January 18, 2020

(I’m getting ready to go to a comic convention, but I’m having trouble affording the hotel room as the people that usually travel with me can’t make it. But one of them refers me to two friends wanting to go.)

Friend-Of-Friend: “Oh, my God, I’m so excited for the con!”

Me: “Glad to have you on board. Among the three of us, we each need to kick in $150 for the room. I’ll need it by [Date] so it will hit my bank account at go-time. I’m also bringing [list of grocery items], so we can make quick meals in the room. Do you need a ride?”

Friend-Of-Friend: “Okay, no problem! We’ll get there on our own. Looking forward to it.” 

Me: “Okay, see you there.”

(Fast forward to the day before I need their part of the room rental.)

Me: “Hey, I still need you to pay for your shares of the room. Where are you on that?”

Friend-Of-Friend: “Oh, yeah. How much are badges? 

Me: “It’s too late to pre-order, but you can buy them at the door for $50.”

Friend-Of-Friend: “WHAT?! I CAN’T AFFORD THAT! I just won’t go, then!”

(I managed to pay for the hotel on my own and still enjoy the convention. But how could this chick afford a hotel, but not a badge that was a third of the cost?)

A Squeaky Clean Break

, , , , | Right | January 18, 2020

Me: “Thank you for calling [My Company]. This is [My Name]; how may I help you today?”

Member: “Oh, honey, no. This isn’t gonna work. Transfer me out; your voice is just too squeaky.”

Try Dispensing A Little Information?

, , | Healthy | January 18, 2020

Me: “Can I help you find something in particular?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a box of medicine.”

Me: “Okay, is it for you?”

Customer: “No, my friend.”

Me: “What was it for?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Do you know what it looks like?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “What do you use it for?”

Customer: “Err, I don’t know.”

Me: “Is it for stomachache, headache?” *pointing to these areas*

Customer: “I don’t know.”

(I pause to try and think of some way to help.)

Customer: “Can I go in there?” *points to the dispensary*

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Oh. I’ll ring my friend.”

(She went outside to ring her friend but she never returned! I never got to find out what box of medicine she wanted!)