I Have To Beat You There, Pedestrians Be Darned!

, , , , , | Friendly | July 3, 2020

I’m driving through a street with a large school that has a kindergarten, a primary school, and middle school. I’ve timed my passage unluckily as school is starting again.

There are several crossings and the smaller children are very good at using them. Not so the middle school children who cross on a whim, not caring if they are going straight or not, except for the beeline they are making to their friends. Due to this, I’m driving cautiously and just below the speed limit of thirty km/h, occasionally slowing down even more to avoid an impact. I would hate to be the cause for a parent hearing that his or her child is not coming home that day.

This is not to the liking of the driver in the next car, and he employs various tactics in order to get me to speed up, including flicking his lights and honking when I slow down for a crossing or for a pedestrian crossing. I only notice him flicking his lights because he is making a sideways maneuver in an attempt to overtake me; he is that close. So now, I need to have eyes in my back, as well, resigning to the fact that if I need to make a full stop, he is in all likelihood going to hit me.  

I make it through safely and at the traffic lights, he finally gets his chance to overtake me, giving me a one-finger salute and some other gestures and facial expressions expressing his rage.

The kicker? He had two primary school-aged children in the back seat.

For their sake, I hope they made it safely to their destination and that they meet drivers more considerate than their dad when using the crossings.

Very Aggressive Charity

, , , , | Right | July 3, 2020

The supermarket where I work rents space to a popular coffee chain. The rental agreement makes it so the chain has to use supermarket employees and the supermarket’s register system. Because of this, we are unable to redeem gift cards for the coffee chain. We have an 8.5-by-11-inch sign indicating this on top of the register.

I am working alone and had a few people in line, a mother with her kids, a woman, and a guy. I have just finished making the mother’s order and am ringing her out.

Me: “It’s going to be [total].”

Mother: *Holds out a gift card* “I’m not sure how much is on this.”

Me: “Sorry, but we are unable to redeem [Chain]’s gift cards.”

I point to the sign.

Mother: “Oh, sorry. Give me a minute.”

Woman: “Let me get that for you.”

Mother: *To the woman* “That’s all right, but thank you.” *To me* “Is it all right if I use change?”

Me: “Yeah, sure.”

Woman: *To me* “I got her order.” *To the mother* “Go ahead and take your coffee, dear.”

Mother: “No, no. It’s all right.”

The woman then moved over to our card reader and got ready to slide her card.

Mother: “Really, I’m all set.” *Hands me the money*

I ring her out and give her the change.

Me: “Have a nice day.” *To the woman* “What can I get you?”

Woman: “First, you can give me that woman’s money so I can give it back to her.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I cannot just give you money from my register, and since she declined your charity, I must respect that.”

Woman: “You’re a f****** a**hole, you know that?”

Me: *Surprised* “I’m sorry you feel that way. Is there anything you want to order?”

Woman: “Gimme a [drink] and put that woman’s order on mine so I can give her the money.”

Me: *Starts her coffee* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t do that.”

Woman: “F*** you! She was embarrassed! That’s why she didn’t want the charity.”

Me: *Finishing her order* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but she refused to let you pay for her and gave me her money. I cannot just give you her money as it needs to be refunded in the system and I can’t do that from here.”

Woman: “You’re an a**hole! She was embarrassed!”

Me: *Rings in order* “That’ll be [total for just her drink].”

The guy in line behind her has now walked away.

Woman: “Put her coffee on there and give me her money so I can give it back!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I cannot.”

I glance over to the employee out on the sales floor for help.

Me: “Can you please pay for your order?”

She slides her card through the reader.

Woman: “You’re a f****** a**hole! She was embarrassed! I’m going to have you fired!”

Thankfully, her card goes through with no problem.

Me: *Holds out her receipt* “Thank you. Have a nice day.”

Woman: *Walks off* “F*** you!”

She then stormed off, and about fifteen minutes later a manager came by and told me she tried to complain about me, but the guy that was behind her and left was nearby and defended me. The manager gave me one of the supermarket’s employee reward gift cards. It’s been a few years since this happened, and the woman still comes in regularly, and every time the person in front of her has some issue, she offers to pay. Thankfully, there haven’t been any more incidents like this one.

Their Complaints Are As Fake As Plastic

, , , , | Right | July 3, 2020

Some time ago, the UK switched its £5 and £10 notes from paper to plastic. Most people are indifferent to the change, but some are very vocal about how much they hate the new plastic notes. I get at least three customers a day complaining about them, but this one stands out.

Customer: “I f****** hate these new plastic notes.”

The note in question was a £20 note. Still paper.

If You’re Going To Be An Idiot, Be A Loved Idiot

, , , , , , | Working | July 3, 2020

I am fortunate enough to work with talented, fun, hard-working people I consider friends, but like all friends, some of them drive me a little insane. One of the worst is a guy who never listens to anything.

Coworker: “This program is a pain. How am I even supposed to [do a thing]?”

Me: “That’s weird. The tutorial covers that. Did it not display for you?”

Coworker: “I just clicked through it.”

Me: “Okay… Well, hit ‘enter’ to go to the menu.”

Coworker: *Sounding annoyed* “But how do I go to the menu?”

Me: *Pause* “Hit ‘enter.’”

Later, in an email:

Me: “Hey, [Coworker]! I’m working on a promo with [Client], just so you know. I’m going to rope in [Artist] to do the images for it.”

Coworker: “Have you thought about using [Exact Same Artist I Just Mentioned]?”

Me: “That was the second sentence of that email.”

Coworker: “Oh, well, I didn’t read that far.”

Even later-er:

Coworker: “Hey, what are we doing for our launch today?”

I email him a list of items.

Coworker: “But what about [very first item on the list, I’m not even kidding]?”

Me: “You’re lucky you’re my friend.”

He’s a great coworker and friend except for this, and it wouldn’t be an issue if it didn’t happen all the time, and if he wasn’t such a butt when the same thing happened to him.

Me: “I gave [Other Coworker] your new phone number.”

Coworker: “I gave it to him yesterday! I even wrote it down.”

Me: “I know; he couldn’t find the paper when he went to add you to his contacts.”

Coworker: “Ugh, I hate repeating myself! People need to pay more attention to the details.”

Sigh. Love you, buddy.

Strike A Violent Pose; Maybe They’ll Leave You Alone

, , , , , , | Related | July 3, 2020

My siblings are having a massive pool party with their friends. I’m in the pool, too, just barely managing to stay out of the line of fire. They’re roughhousing, pushing each other in the pool, being rough with the dog, and throwing his toy in the pool so he’ll jump in, and my sister and her boyfriend are openly flirting. 

Mom: “Okay, I’m going inside. Keep an eye on things, [My Name]!”

Me: “Wait, you’re leaving me in charge?!”

Mom: “Yep.”

Me: “Teenagers scare me!”

Mom: “They scare me, too!”

After she left, one kid started running around the pool with a tomahawk, and my brother was chasing him with a hunting knife. Later, my mom admitted she was worried about the pool toys being destroyed. 

Cue My Chemical Romance’s “Teenagers”!