Triple Threat

, , , | Romantic | May 21, 2018

(There is a twenty-something woman who is a regular at the neighborhood restaurant where I work. She works at another local restaurant, but we’re open later, so she’ll come after work for beer and a burger. Sometimes she does come for lunch with her boyfriend and/or her female best friend. The problem comes when her boyfriend and best friend come in together for dinner and act romantically towards each other. My coworkers and I all agreed that we should stay out of things, but a bar regular — who has been hitting on her unsuccessfully for months — decides to say something the next time the woman is in.)

Bar Regular: “You need to dump that a**hole boyfriend of yours.”

Woman: “One, he’s not an a**hole. Two, why would I dump him?”

Bar Regular: “He’s cheating on you with [Friend].”

Woman: “No, he’s not.”

Bar Regular: “You didn’t see them in here last night. They were all over each other.”

Woman: “Thanks for telling me, but it’s not what you think.”

Bar Regular: “I think you’re in denial. Just dump him and I’ll take you out somewhere nice.”

Woman: “Not going to happen. I mean, what would my girlfriend say?”

Bar Regular: “What?”

Woman: “[Friend], my girlfriend. Not that it’s any of your business, but I think she might say something if I dump our boyfriend for going out with her. So, no thanks.”

(The bar regular hasn’t spoken to her again since.)

Babysitting Is Just A Game To Them

, , , , | Right | May 21, 2018

(Internet cafes are popular in our country with kids who want to play games in groups. A grandma comes in with her five-year-old grandson.)

Grandma: “Set him up for a five-hour package.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I don’t approve of that, since that much time in front of a PC is not good for a kid, but we don’t have a policy or law that would let me deny them. I set the PC for the kid. A few minutes later I see her leave. I am not able to stop her because I am assisting someone with her payment and the register is open. I just assume she went to the store next door and will be back quickly. A few minutes pass and she hasn’t returned yet. Around 30 minutes later, the grandson is already looking around for her and he looks scared. I ask one of the high-school kids around to check where she went. The grandson must have heard us and he runs outside looking for her! I run after him and am able to grab him when he’s about to cross the very busy road. I get him back in and he starts a tantrum and wails really loud, kicking those of us who tried to pick him up. The grandma comes back, angry at me for “not taking care of him.”)

Me: “We’re an Internet cafe, not a child care center.”

Grandma: *shouting and berating me in front of the customers* “Just let him play; he likes those games. I told you he’ll be here for five hours.”

Me: “He ran out and tried to cross the road. I can’t keep an eye on him. He doesn’t even know how to play the game you selected. I can’t sit by him to tutor him on how to play. I’m alone here.”

Grandma: “He tires me out. Just distract him.”

Me: “No. Take him.”

(The kid is still wailing on our floor, and the others are getting irritated with how loud he is and how he’s kicking anyone he wants to kick.)

Grandma: “In five hours!”

Me: “This is not a child care center!”

(I pick the kid up because he is in the middle of the store while grandma is at the door. He punches my jaw and lands a few kicks on me.)

Grandma: “Why can’t you take him?! I’m paying that package!”

Me: “The package doesn’t include a nanny.”

(I hand him over, his grandma still shouting at him and me, saying she wants that package. I cancel the transaction on his PC before she can drag him back to his rented PC, and shout for the next kid to take it.)

Me: “He’s crabby; take him home so he can sleep.”

(The kid was still crying, and there was no more PC where she can drop him, so she walked out with the kid. I had to pay for the package out of pocket. Getting rid of them was worth it.)

See You Later, Elevator

, , , , , | Related | May 21, 2018

(I get in the elevator with a man and his young son. The son has been playing with a basketball in the hallway. As we’re riding down:)

Son: “Can I dribble in here?”

Dad: “No.”

Son: “Okay. No dribbling in the alligator.”

Dad: “Elevator.”

Son: “Right. No dribbling in the elebator.”

Dad: “Close enough.”

(I couldn’t help but chuckle.)

This Kind Of Work Is Not In Her Jeans

, , , , | Working | May 21, 2018

(I am working the night audit shift at a hotel when a young woman comes in. She is dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. It is about two in the morning.)

Girl: “Hey! Are you guys taking applications right now?”

Me: “I don’t know, honestly, but I can give you the web address where we take applications.”

Girl: “There isn’t a manager I can speak to?”

(Again, it is two in the morning.)

Me: “Um… I’m the de facto manager on duty right now, but I have no control over our hiring practices. You’ll have to go online, or wait until morning when someone is in.”

Girl: “Aw, shoot. I just wanted to get some kind of job; you know, something easy, like your job!”

Me: *glancing at the mountain of accounting paperwork I’m currently trying to get through while attempting not to look insulted* “Yes, well, like I said, I don’t know if we’re hiring, but I know we don’t need any more night auditors right now.”

Girl: “Sure, sure. Oh! And do you have to wear anything in particular for this job?”

Me: *looks down at the pinstripe suit and matching blouse that no young woman would possibly wear unless they had to* “Yes… This.”

Girl: “What? You mean I can’t just wear like, a t-shirt and jeans?”

Me: “No.”

Girl: “Huh! Well, never mind, then!”

(She left. Not only have I never seen ANY hotel of ANY stripe that allowed its employees to wear t-shirts and jeans to work, but we are a higher-end, full-service brand!)

The Bra Is Wiped Out

, , , , , | Right | May 21, 2018

(I am working on the customer service desk when a very angry woman comes up and demands to speak to a manager. I radio for one, after establishing that she doesn’t want my help, and the store manager is the one who answers. This was the exchange that I witness.)

Customer: “I’ve just been to your disabled toilet and there was no toilet roll, so I would like a refund.”

Manager: “I’m sorry about that, but what do you need a refund for exactly?”

Customer: “Well, because there was no toilet paper, I was forced to use my bra to wipe myself, so I would like the cost of my bra back.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, madam, but I am able to give you any money for that, as it was your choice to use that particular item. No one forced you to use it!”

Customer: “But it was expensive!”

Manager: “Then I suggest that you don’t use it as toilet paper!”

(He then walked away, leaving me desperately trying not to laugh at this woman! I don’t understand why she didn’t use either her underwear or sock if she was that desperate?! Why choose the item that requires the most effort to remove and costs the most money?!)

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