Canada Doesn’t Need You, Either

, , , , , | Right | May 30, 2020

I work in a gift shop at an airport for small charter flights and smaller carriers. We serve many American tourists at our store. Most people who come in are passengers leaving on outbound flights to other areas in the province.

Customer: “Do you accept American?”

Me: “Yes, we accept US dollars on par.”

Customer: “Okay, I would like to get these items here.”

Me: “All right, no problem.” *Scans in items* “Your total comes to $17.80.”

The customer hands me $100 USD. I hand back $82.20 CDN. The customer is holding up the change, looking confused.

Customer: “What is this? What is this? What is this? Do I need this? What is this? Why do I need this? What is this? I don’t need this!”

Me: “That is your change for the transaction, ma’am.”

The customer ignores me and turns to her friend, sounding annoyed.

Customer: “Why would she give me this? What is this for? I don’t need this!”

I just give a blank stare while the customer throws money on the table.

Customer: “Why do I need this? I don’t need this! Give me American!

Me: “We cannot give back change in foreign currency.”

The customer grabs the money.

Customer: “BUT I DON’T NEED THIS! WHY DO I NEED THIS? WHAT IS THIS?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, you are a visitor to Canada and those are Canadian dollars.”

Customer: “Argh! I don’t need this!”

The customer stormed out.

At A Loss For Words

, , , , | Right | May 30, 2020

Customer: “I would like to buy these.”

I scan the items.

Me: “Sure, no problem! Okay, sir, your total comes to $20.10.”

The customer hands me a $20 bill.

Customer: “I just don’t want to break another bill; can you give me the 10¢ off?”

He comes off as very rude in the way he is saying it. He has the money to pay for it but just doesn’t want to.

Me: “No, I am sorry. I do not want my till to be short. You will need to pay the proper amount.”

Customer: “Fine, then! I will take something out. Your loss!

The customer picks something to put back.

Customer: “Here! I won’t get this one!”

Me: “Okay, sure.”

I delete the item off the screen.

Me: “Your total is now $16.79.”

Customer: “Ha! See?! Your loss!”

The customer gives me the $20 bill again. I hand back the change.

Me: “Here’s your change, $3.20.”

We no longer use pennies in Canada, so everywhere rounds them away.

Me: “Thanks have a great day!”

Customer: “It’s your loss! Ha!

I stand there, looking bored, while I stare blankly at him and his outburst. The item he put back will get sold eventually anyway, and I get paid to be there either way. The customer is walking out, mumbling.

Customer: “Your loss, your loss!”

1 Thumbs
119

23 Customers Who Would Get Even Their Plastic Plants Killed

| Right | May 30, 2020

Dear readers,

Today is Water a Flower Day! While many in the Not Always Right editing team know the lazy pleasure of owning a plastic plant, we are all in agreement that they’re no substitute for the real thing! If you do have some friends in bloom at home right now, use today as an opportunity to give them all a decent watering, and help them to provide some green positive energy!

Sadly, the 23 stories gathered here from our archives showcase that there are many people out there who would somehow get their plastic plants killed…

 

This Refund Is Cut And Dried – Sorry dude, but it wasn’t the flowers…

About To Be A War Of The Roses – She’s going to find an interesting place to stick those flowers…

Pan-bi-a-trans-homo-heterosexual, Part 2 – Cross-Pollination-Hub!

Barking Up All The Trees – The flora version of “I am looking for a book, it’s blue.”

A Chance To Play God – Just choose the flowers that don’t labor or spin.

An Offering To The Literary Gods – Methinks she’s following the letter of her anger management classes, if not the spirit.

Up His Own Perineum – He’s looking for some chloriniums.

Those Who Have Impotence Will Never Lose Their Flower – Good luck trying to get those to cross-pollinate!

Nature Abhors A Vacuum-Head – A ‘natural’ teenage behavior.

Your Garden-Variety Idiot – She’s growing baaaah-gonias.

The Richer They Are, The Cheaper They Become – The title says it all. Rich people got rich because they expect everything for free.

How About We Toilet Paper Your Lawn Instead – Just redo a whole lawn – it’s nothing!

Digging Your Tree Out Of A Hole – It’s literally six feet under.

The Problem With Dirty Words – Unable to get the dirt on what is actually happening here.

Accusations Wood Require Hard Proof – Somehow we think turning up an hour later wouldn’t have made much difference…

Someone Needs Sensitivity Training – Ebinezer Scrooge needs his flowers!

We’d Love To Cut Your Lawn, But— – Can we just say–

Not A Turf Decision – The plants never forget.

H2-D’oh! – What grassless planet has he been living on?

Time For Them To Make Like A Tree And Leave – The karma will be the cherry tree on top.

How To Make The Customer Blossom – You catch more flies with honeysuckle than violas.

Set Fire To The Rain – But we do! We really, really do!

Will Get It Done Come Rain Or Shine – He needs to learn how to read the landscape-ing.

And finally, a feel-good story with an awesome customer who deserves all the flowers!

Momma Raised Him Right – We wanted to end this post on a smile – after all, your plants can tell when you’re frowning!

 

We hope you enjoyed this collection of stories! Know any that we missed? Let us know in the comments! Want to submit your own story? Do it here!

Stay safe, everyone!

This Baker’s Dozen Is Beyond Help

, , , | Right | May 30, 2020

Keep in mind that this display of human awesomeness occurs in an upper-middle-class suburban area, where new homes start at a quarter of a million dollars. The phone rings.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bagel Shop]. My name is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: *angry* “I need to speak to someone that can help me!”

Me: “Well, our manager doesn’t come on for another two hours; what can I do for you, sir?”

Customer:I don’t know! Can you help me?!”

Me: “Yes, sir. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer:I don’t know! Can you help me?”

Me: *Internal sigh* “Yes, sir. I can help you.”

Customer: “Good!”

There is a long pause.

Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Customer: “Well, I came in and bought a dozen bagels!”

I am suppressing the desire to comment, “Well, this is a bagel store.”

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Customer: “And when I got home, I only had twelve bagels!”

It is this store’s policy to sell bagels as a baker’s dozen, which is thirteen, while only charging for twelve.

Me: “Ah, yes, sir. Well, I’m sure there was some mistake—”

Customer: “You’re d*** right, there was a mistake! I need someone to help me!”

Me: “Well, sir, if you would like, we’ll give you a free dozen bagels—”

Customer: “You’re useless! I already have a dozen bagels!” *Hangs up*

Me: “…”

1 Thumbs
135

This Is Why You Always, Always Cover Your A**

, , , , , | Working | May 30, 2020

I am a system admin for a small manufacturing company that gets purchased by a much larger corporation; I’m not sure why exactly. As part of the buyout, in email and across the company, it states all employees that are retained keep the requested days off and holidays for that year.

As my wife is going to have some major surgery, I have requested to take a week off and had it all approved. I have my backup lined up: [System Admin #2] and [IT Tech]. 

The new company merges the IT department with HR and I meet my new boss as the old HR staff was all let go. At our first meeting, [New Boss] gives a long-winded spiel about how great the new company is and how they take pride in how they treat employees.

New Boss: “So, anything you think we need to discuss?”

I explain the situation with my wife and tell him that I will soon be taking a week off.

New Boss: “Not a problem.” 

He gives me some more company BS and a “my door is always open.”

I immediately send an email reminding my new boss about our conversation and the dates I will be off. His response is, “Yes, that is what we discussed. Thank you.” I learned to cover my a** a long time ago

Fast forward a month. Literally the week before I will be taking off for my wife’s surgery, [System Admin #2] is let go. I remind [New Boss] that I will be absent for an entire week and they will be without a system admin or IT support other than [IT Tech]. 

New Boss: “What are you talking about? You never told me you would be taking time off, and even if you did it was never approved. And since it wasn’t approved, you will just have to not take your vacation or whatever unimportant issue it is.”

I have a bad feeling, so I email [New Boss] and explain again that it’s a surgery for my wife, it is important, I will be taking the time off as it was approved by previous HR, and it was our first conversation. I also make copies and forward all emails pertaining to the conversation with [New Boss] and the email as part of the buyout — i.e. contract — to my personal email. 

New Boss: “There was never a conversation, and since you never told me and I never approved it, you will just have to figure something out for your wife.”

This email is copied and forwarded to my personal email.

Me: “It was approved prior to buyout and we did have a discussion. I will be taking that week off.”

I copy and forward this to my personal email, too.

Friday before I take the week off, this happens.

IT Tech: “So… Um, you did back up your emails somewhere that is not on our network, right?” 

Me: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

IT Tech: “Well, in case there is an issue and something happens to the exchange server and the backups, it might be a good idea to have some backups for… you know, since the buyout…”

He then walks away. I copy all emails, print them out, and forward them to a newly-created unrelated email account. I head home and have a nagging feeling, so I compose an email to the Corporate Human Resources of the company that bought out our little company. I explain the issue, mentioning that if I am let go while I am off with my wife, I will be retaining a lawyer — never mentioning I have proof of conversation with HR — and telling them they should look into it.  

Lo and behold, the exchange server and our backup get corrupted to the point of losing all the emails for the year. Hmm, suspect. 

I return from taking care of my wife (who is doing much better) and am immediately taken to the board room with [New Boss] and two people from Corporate HR. 

New Boss: “I am going to have to let you go, as you took an entire week of unapproved vacation time off so you could take some trip to who knows where, and we had a major system failure that resulted in a loss of all the company’s emails for several months, which is causing headaches for shipping and accounting.”

Me: “Really. That is odd. We did discuss my week off, as I told you it was for my wife’s surgery and recovery.”

I open my backpack and pull out a binder and a notebook.

Me: “You see, an email was sent to all employees about the buyout, and part of the buyout contract was that we got to retain all approved days off; it was sent out on [Date]. After I spoke with you on [date #1], I sent you an email reminding you. I also reminded you via email on [date #2], and [dates #3, #4, and #5].”

New Boss: “While yes, the first email is correct, there was nothing in your file about approved time off, and also, we never discussed it, and I can’t corroborate your story.” 

Me: “Here is the paperwork of the signed approval form from my old HR.” *Taking paper from the binder* “Here is a printout of me outlining our first discussion and all other emails pertaining to the approved time off.”

I slide over the paper, not to [New Boss], but to the corporate HR employees, who seem to have finally taken an interest.

Me: “Also, you will find that, since this is information only about me and not anything regarding the company, I did not break any laws by sending this information to my personal email.”

Corporate HR: “Can you step outside? We will call you back in shortly.” 

To cut this already long story short, I was called back in, and after a lengthy discussion and the revealing that [IT Tech] also had some emails about being told to do some maintenance on the exchange server and backup, [New Boss] was promptly fired.

[IT Tech] was promoted to Temp System Admin, and his schooling was paid for him to get the correct degree.

As for me, after some heated discussion between me and corporate that mentioned a lawsuit, I was given a decent “bonus,” as well as a severance package — along with a non-disclosure agreement. I was able to easily find another job in my career field and am much happier.

1 Thumbs
248