All The Other Kids Will Be Green With Envy

(I have Asperger’s syndrome, which is a form of autism. When I was a kid in the 90s, both were not very well understood. One of the aspects of Asperger’s is that those with it tend to focus exclusively on their interests and likes, such as video games. It’s getting close to Halloween, and while watching TV I see several commercials for M&Ms. I know what I want to be that year.)

Me: “Mom, I know what I want to be for Halloween!”

Mom: “What do you want to be?”

Me: “An M&M! The red one!”

(My mom is confused, as my favorite color is green. If I can get it in green, I get in in green. I am the kind of kid who only eats his breakfast in one specific bowl — the green one in my case.)

Mom: “Why do you want to be the red one? Wouldn’t you want to be the green one?”

Me: “I can’t be the green one. She’s a girl.”

Mom: “How can you tell?”

Me: *straight face* “She has eyelashes.”

(That was good enough for Mom, who was a little surprised the green one was a girl and made me a really awesome — red — M&M costume.)