All That For Nothing

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, please, you sell doonoo?”

Me: “I’m sorry? Do we sell what?”

Customer: *points at menu board* “You know, noots!”

Me: *looks up to where he’s pointing which is a picture of some bagels* “Bagels?”

Customer: “No! Noots! Doonoots!”

(This goes on for several minutes, both of us getting more and more frustrated, until…)

Me: “Wait, are you saying nuts?”

Customer: “Yes, yes!”

Me: “We have peanuts for our ice cream sundaes.”

Customer: “No, no, no. DOOnoots!”

Me: *with a huge smile of understanding* “You mean doughnuts?!”

Customer: “Yes!”

(Keep in mind we have been working on this for a good five minutes. He now looks so excited that what I say next nearly breaks my heart.)

Me: “No, I’m sorry. We don’t sell doughnuts.”

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