All Snoke And Mirrors

(It’s the New Jedi Order end of term teacher parents night. As the galaxy’s only Jedi, I am the only teacher, so meeting all the parents has been a bit draining. Thankfully my next parents are my sister, Leia, and her husband and my friend, Han, here to discuss their son, my nephew.)

Me: “Hi, Han, ol’ buddy! Hey, Sis! Glad you can make it. I have a few concerns about little Ben which I’d like to discuss with you.”

Han: “Is he slacking with his training?”

Me: “No, not at all. If anything his ability with the Force is outstanding. That, however, is linked with the problem. He’s very much like his grandfather and I feel it’s best to tell him that Darth Vader was in fact his grandfather so he can learn from his mistakes and not be tempted by the dark side. He seems to be going through a Vader hero worship phase, and if he knew that his grandfather was Darth Vader and that in the end he turned good and back to the light side of the Force, it may help him grow out of it.”

Leia: “No, Luke, we’ve discussed this. I don’t want him to know that his grandfather was an evil Sith who aided in the death of millions.”

Me: “But Leia, you can’t keep lying to him. He’ll figure out the truth eventually. In fact, he’s learnt this creepy trick where he can use the Force to read minds!”

Han: “What kind of crap are you teaching our kid here, Luke?!”

Me: “Don’t look at me! He’s figured that one out for himself!”

Han: “Creepy. I love the kid but he does freak me out.”

Leia: “Han! That’s our son!”

Han: “Well, he does! Gives me a headache every time he comes home from school. That kid will be the death of me.”

Me: “Any way we’re getting off-topic. We should tell Ben that his grandfather was Darth Vader.”

Leia: “No, Luke. My decision stands. I’m sure he’ll be ok. This Vader worship is just a phase. He doesn’t need to know that his grandfather was a Sith Lord that eventually turned good. I doubt that knowing this will ever affect any future life choices he makes and ever come back to haunt us.”

Me: “Fine, have it your way. I’ve taken on a teaching assistant. His resume says he has experience with Force-sensitive problem children, so I doubt anything could go wrong…”

Han: “Sounds like a plan. Who is this teaching assistant?”

Me: “Smoke or something… I forget.”