All I Want For Christmas, Is You… Leaving

It is Christmas Day, and our little diner is open for breakfast only. The staff and I are very much looking forward to closing at 11:00 am to go be with our families.

A woman bustles in at around 10:30 am with her four children.

Customer: “Thank God, you’re open! Everywhere else is closed!”

Me: “Well, that’s Christmas Day for you!”

Customer: “Yes, yes, it’s ridiculous. It’s very inconvenient! My kids will tell you what they want. I’ll be outside making a call.”

Me: “Sure thing, ma’am. Please note that we close at 11:00 today, so you might want to order your food now, too.”

Customer: “Whatever. Just coffee for me. Kids, tell her what you want, but no desserts!”

The kids are polite and have bought coloring books and the like, so they’re no problem at all in their booth while their mother is outside on the phone. We close at 11:00 and she is still out there on the phone! At 11:15 am, we have cleaned up the rest of the place and I go outside.

Me: *Politely* “Ma’am, we’re now closed. You’ll need to settle your bill and collect your children.”

She actually holds her hand up to me as I talk, as my request is obviously not as important as whatever she is talking about. I’m about to repeat my request more sternly, but then I overhear a snippet of her conversation.

Customer: “No, you don’t understand! I was supposed to come in yesterday, but my d*** ex dropped off the kids! He was supposed to have them for Christmas, but his mom had to go and get sick or some stupid s*** like that.”

Me: “Ma’am, I—”

Customer: *Glaring at me* “I am trying to get my eyebrow appointment rescheduled to today! Do you know how hard it is to get your eyebrows done on Christmas Day?!”

Me: “I’m sure, ma’am, but the fact remains that we are now closed. You need to settle your bill and collect your children.”

Customer: “God! Five more minutes!”

Me: “Ma’am, in five minutes, I will serve all your children extra-sugary desserts, enough to make them extra energetic for the rest of the day.”

Customer: *Glaring giving way to shock* “Ugh! Fine!”

She finally paid and corralled her kids out of the diner. She came back the next day when our hours were back to normal. Her eyebrows were the same.