All Bark, No Bite
(I’ve just taken my geriatric golden retriever to a groomer within a larger store and, like most dogs, she is not happy about it. Before we reach the register, a small girl — maybe four or five — and her mother come out of an aisle.)
Girl: “PUPPY!”
Dog: *growls and turns away*
Girl: “Pet the puppy!”
Me: *I put my arm out to stop the girl from approaching* “I’m sorry, but I’d rather you didn’t pet her.”
Girl: “Why?”
Me: “Well, she just got a bath and she didn’t like it.”
Mother: “Why?”
Me: “Because she doesn’t like baths. So she’s grumpy and I don’t want your daughter to get hurt.”
Mother: “Does she bite?”
Me: “No, but she’s not in a good mood, and I’d rather she wasn’t provoked.”
Mother: “Are you threatening my daughter?”
Me: “No, I’m trying to protect her. [Dog] is old and just got a bath, so she’s not in a very good mood.”
Mother: “She’s fine. She’s good with dogs.” *to her daughter* “Go pet the puppy, sweetheart.”
Me: “Do not pet the puppy.”
Mother: “You have no right to tell my daughter what to do!”
Me: “And what happens if [Dog] does decide to lash out?”
Mother: “Why would you bring an a**hole dog to a public place?”
Me: “She’s not an a**hole; she’s old. F*** off.”
(I move to pass the two, keeping myself between my dog and the child. Just as we pass them, I turn to look back and see the girl reaching out to pet my dog.)
Me: “STOP!”
(My dog, as predicted, turns and growls at the girl, who recoils and starts crying.)
Mother: “Do not yell at my daughter!”
Me: “How many times do I have to say, ‘Do not pet my dog,’ before it sinks in?”
Mother: “She’s just trying to say hello!”
Me: “And I’m saying it’s not a good idea.”
Mother: “Well, [Store Manager] is a good friend of mine. I’m going to have you and your g**d*** dog banned!”
Me: “Okay, you do that.”
(I paid for my dog’s grooming and left the store. We’ve been back multiple times since, so I guess the woman wasn’t as high and mighty as she thought she was.)
