ALIVE Is Best

, , , , | Friendly | September 14, 2020

I gave birth — after two days of trying naturally — via emergency cesarean. Natural just wasn’t happening, and when the fetal heartbeat started failing, I consented to surgery, of course. The baby is fine and beautiful.

Friend: “Oh, don’t feel too bad. There’s really no shame in a cesarean.”

Me: “Huh? Of course not. I’m just glad we’re both okay.”

Friend: “I am so glad you can see it that way!”

Me: “Is there some other way of seeing it?”

It turned out that her mother-in-law had stormed into the hospital after her cesarean and extensively berated her for “not being a proper woman,” “not trying hard enough,” and “being too lazy to give birth.” If this is a site for stories of people behaving badly, I can’t think of much worse behavior than attacking a young mother recovering from a difficult birth for “giving birth wrong.”

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