Alexa, Play “Walking Contradiction” By Green Day
A lady came in today with some things she wanted to exchange, and then she went to go shop. We started taking stuff out of the bag to process it and found out she had bought it all two months before. Our return policy is that you get back the full price if you bring it back within thirty days and have the receipt. If you bring it back after that or don’t have the receipt, you get it back for whatever the current price is, and it goes onto a gift card (or you can exchange it). I feel like this is standard.
The two belts were still the same price she had paid for them, but the dress was marked down by $18. I told my coworker that I was probably going to need backup because I could just feel in my bones that this customer was going to cause an issue.
She came up to the counter with her stuff, all bubbly and happy up to this point, and I politely let her know that since it was past the thirty days, she could exchange her items for the current selling price, and I told her what that would be.
Record scratch!
She immediately got angry.
Customer: “No, that’s not acceptable!”
Me: “Would you like to keep the items instead?”
This wasn’t acceptable either, so now we were at an impasse. I reiterated the return policy and the fact that it was on all of our receipts, so she snatches her receipt out of my hand and read it aloud to me.
Customer: “Sweetie, I really think you should learn your store policy better. Look, this here says ‘After thirty days or without an original receipt, items can be exchanged or returned for store credit at the current selling price.’”
Five years instantly dropped off my lifespan as I tried to comprehend where she thought the contradiction lay, how she could possibly be reading it that way, and how someone this stupid could live this long.
So, I told her that the receipt actually agreed with what I had just said, and she launched into a tirade. Here are some highlights, in no particular order.
Customer: “Well, I spend so much money here, and I’m here all the time, so I think you should make it happen!”
Customer: “Your return policy changed from sixty to thirty days back in March? Well, I haven’t been here for four months, so how was I supposed to know?!”
Customer: “Well, I should’ve read the receipt saying the policy had changed, but most people don’t read that, and you should be understanding of that! There should be a sign!”
There was a sign right next to her.
Customer: “Are you the manager?! You are?” *Blank stare, brain reboots*
Customer: “I know you think you have all the power here, sweetie, but you don’t!”
Customer: “You’re a manager, so I know you have the power to just give it back to me at full price!”
Customer: “I used to be a manager, too! I worked in customer service, so I know this is terrible customer service!”
Customer: “Everyone else has always just given it back to me at full price, no problem!”
At that point, she decided she didn’t want to return anything after all, so I started checking out her new items and completely stopped speaking to her. But she continued.
Customer: “What’s your name? Oh, you won’t tell me? Well, I’ll find out!”
Customer: “I can’t believe you just stopped talking to me. Wow.”
Customer: “You must be new. How long have you been working here?”
I ignored this question, as well, so she asked my coworker, who just said, “Longer than me.” Love her.
Customer: “You refusing to speak to me is very un-manager-like of you!”
Customer: “Oh, and for the record, I’m not harassing you, and I have all these eyewitnesses here to back me up!”
I placed her bag on the counter, said, “Have a nice day!”, and immediately went to hide around the corner in the back hallway. I heard her yell, “NO, I WON’T!”, and then, “Well, actually, I probably WILL, sweetie!”, before she was finally gone.
The other two customers in the store told us they were sorry we had to deal with her, and I got to leave right after, so I got myself some ice cream to make up for it.
But I still can’t believe people like this actually exist.
