Alcopuns

(My friend is staying with her parents for the summer between semesters. Her mom just got a tooth pulled and it has been bugging her all day. We’ve been texting for a while and this exchange happens:)

Friend: “I need more wine.”

Me: “I have vodka and I really shouldn’t.”

Friend: “Do it.”

Me: “You are really not helping.”

Friend: “But, [My Name], it’ll be funny.”

Me: “I’m bad enough sober.”

Friend: “You’re punnier when drunk.”

Me: “This is a good thing?”

Friend: “For me and my fan-fiction, yes. The rest of the world is screwed. I’m willing to sacrifice it.”

Me: “Fair enough.”