Airport Closed Due To Rogue Helicopter Moms

(I am about to start a semester abroad, my first real experience living abroad which I am, admittedly, nervous for. My mother and I have woken up at about three in the morning in order to make the four-hour trip to the airport. I have a bad habit of not worrying about things and assuming I can figure it out if things go south. My mother is the exact opposite and worries endlessly. This happens about two hours into the trip.)

Mum: “Oh! Did you bring your passport?”

Me: “Yes, of course, I did.” *still checks*

Mum: “Just checking.”

Me: “Can’t catch the plane if I didn’t, anyway.”

(A little later.)

Mum: “Are you sure you’ve got your accommodation sorted?”

Me: “I better f****** hope so; otherwise, I’m just going to have to figure something out.”

Mum: “Wait, so you do have it sorted?”

Me: “Yeah, Mum. Please, can you chill out? I’m nervous, too, but you’re not helping.”

(A little while later:)

Mum: “Do you have your boarding pass?”

Me: “It’d be too late to do anything if I didn’t, so I don’t know why you are asking. Yes. Yes, I do, can you stop? You’re freaking me out.”

Mum: “All right, sorry…”

(After four and a half hours, we are nearing the airport.)

Mum: “Are you sure your passport is in date?”

Me: “Why would you ask me that?! Why would it even occur to you to ask me that?! No! No, I am not sure! I was sure, but now I’m not! And even if it wasn’t, what could we possibly do at this point to fix the problem? All that question has done has made this more stressful than it needs to be!”

Mum: *starts laughing* “Because I’m crazy! I’m sorry!”

Me: “Don’t be sorry. Shut up! And before you ask, no, I have not checked if the airport has an infestation of airport alligators, and even if they do, we’re here now, so I’m just gonna have to deal with it!”

(We laughed until we got to the terminal, and my mum told the rest of my family when she got home. Now “Airport Alligators” is a family joke for unnecessary stress.)