Air Mattress 2: The Secret Of The Ooze

Me: “Hi, sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I bought this air mattress here a few weeks ago. It was a good deal, but something’s not right.”

Me: “Does it have a leak, perhaps? That’s a fairly common problem.”

Customer: “No, no, nothing like that. It holds the air fine.”

Me: “All right, what’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “It’s mutating. It just keeps growing on its own.”

(I look at the mattress, which fits perfectly fine in its box.)

Me: “Growing?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s alive! The sheets don’t fit it anymore, and it won’t stop expanding. I was sold a mutating mattress!”