Ah, The Fruits Of Nepotism

[Coworker] recently left college, finishing the same course all of our technicians do before they start. It’s a good course with lots of hands-on work, most of it directly related to what we do here every day. That being said, we cannot understand why he is so useless. Basic comprehension, simple tasks — there’s nothing he can’t screw up.

One of the managers ends up calling the college and they confirm he passed all the courses, and very well, apparently. The plot thickens.

After a few more months, we move [Coworker] to the simple jobs, the cleaning, and the dirty work. He seems intelligent enough but just can’t grip things.

One of his friends comes into the department.

Friend: “Have you seen [Coworker]? The idiot hit my car and ran off.

Me: “No, sorry. You went to college with [Coworker], right?”

Friend: *Hesitantly* “Yeah.”

Me: “What was he like?”

Friend: “Oh, top of his class.”

Me: “Really?”

Friend: “Yeah, just ask his dad.”

Me: “Who’s his dad?”

Friend: “Professor [Dad]. He gave the class [Coworker] came top in. Anyway, tell him I’m looking for him. This is the third time he’s damaged one of our cars.”

Me: “Sure.”

We gave [Coworker] another chance, trying to train him on what he was supposed to learn at college, but he seemed uninterested. He was transferred to another department where he is much less of a safety hazard.